It’s okay, though. I am too. It’s very much a #firstworldproblem, but your addiction to your phone is still a problem.
Whenever I have a free moment, I feel that familiar itchy urge to pick up my cell phone: when I’m walking to my car (yes, I frequently trip because of this), when I’m eating lunch, when my internet connection freaks out and I have to wait a minute (gasp) for a page on my laptop to load. You know what I’m talking about.
It’s not like I actually do anything when I pick up my phone. Sure, I usually have a few texts or emails that I could reply to, but 9 times out of 10 I’m just mindlessly opening up Instagram or Facebook and scrolling with no real intention.
Filling up the time with nothingness in a futile attempt to feel somethingness.
None of this is new or revelatory information, I know. At this point I think it’s safe to say that we all know that cell phones are a problem, our iPhones are ruining our lives, blah blah blah. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
Then why the hell can’t we leave our phones alone?
You can thank dopamine for your addiction.
When we turn to our phones to pass the time, it’s because we long for a dopamine hit. In case you don’t know, dopamine is a chemical created by your brain. You may have heard that dopamine makes you experience pleasure, but that’s not really the case. Dopamine actually fuels reward-seeking behavior. Dopamine makes you WANT.
Thanks to smart phones, we’ve gotten very used to instant gratification. Want to chat with your bff? She’s just a text away. Want to know the best lunch spot nearby? A quick Google search will give you tons of options in seconds. (Incidentally, I recently realized that Google broken down is Go Ogle. Intensely creepy if you think about it.)
Want to listen to “Look What You Made Me Do” on repeat while you drive to work (just me?)? Your wish is your phone’s command. Our brain LOVES THIS. You have a want, and you get what you want right away.
The problem is, our brain still functions the way it did when we were six and HAD TO HAVE the latest cool toy. It’s never satisfied. As soon as you get the doll for Christmas, you’re already drooling over the latest accessory set to go with it.
The feeling when you get what you want is so powerful that your brain keeps pumping out dopamine, which drives us to keep seeking that same high. This is why dopamine is a key ingredient in cooking up addiction. It always needs more.
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So yes, your cell phone addiction is REAL.
So much research has been done on our addictions to our phones and the hazards therein, but we don’t exactly change our ways even when we know better. We all know we’re just wasting time, but still we can’t pull ourselves away. Being on our phones quickly becomes a mindless habit.
The problem is that cell phone addiction is really bad for your health.
This review from the U.S. National Institutes of Health’s National Library of Medicine notes that our relationship with our phones is different from our computers, likely due to the fact that they’re often near us at all times and grant us access to the internet whenever and wherever we want it. Young women are the most likely to suffer from phone addiction.
But the most interesting – and terrifying – part of cell phone addiction is all the negative side effects. The review states:
“The problematic use of cell phones has been associated with personality variables, such as extraversion, neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, self-identity, and self-image. Similarly, sleep disturbance, anxiety, stress, and, to a lesser extent, depression, which are also associated with Internet abuse, have been associated with problematic cell-phone use. In addition, the present review reveals the coexistence relationship between problematic cell-phone use and substance use such as tobacco and alcohol.”
YIKES.
Now that we’re all agreed that your cell phone is wasting your time and also making you really freaking unhappy, what should you do about it?
Step one: download my free guide on How to Detox From Social Media
You can find it here! Be sure to check out my other FREE downloads, too.
It goes into detail on how to guide you to take a break from social media! That’s one of the main things that keeps us glued to our phones.
Let’s take it a step further and apply the detox to your entire phone. Practice spending an hour here, 30 min there, with your phone fully away from you. (It helps to put it in another room or leave it at home if you’re feeling extra committed!)
In short, you and your phone need to go on a break.
Right now you and your phone have an unhealthy relationship and it’s making the rest of us uncomfortable. You’re ALWAYS together, you ignore everyone else while you stare into each other’s eyes. You say your phone really loves you, but it’s actually holding you back from a lot of opportunities. Also it’s SO high maintenance and is always breaking and needing to be recharged.
But seriously, lately I’m really feeling just DONE with my phone. Most days I keep it on silent the entire day and I choose to schedule time in my calendar for when I really do need to be using it. I still am active on social media, but it’s controlled.
AND IT’S AMAZING.
I feel so free. So focused. I get more done when I’m not distracted by the constant lighting up of my phone’s screen (shocking).
Obviously, limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone takes practice, dedication, and possibly a good friend to hold you accountable. I’m not going to lie, whenever I hit writer’s block and start pacing around my room my first impulse is always to make my brain happier by picking up my phone.
But I find that as I become more mindful about my little addiction, it’s less satisfying. I will stare at the apps for a second and realize there’s actually nothing that they can provide me in those moments of boredom or emotional instability. It’s getting a lot easier to put the phone right back down again and stay present.
Because that’s really what it’s all about – actually LIVING your life instead of spending it buried inside technology.
Sure, I still love to waste the occasional hour watching dance videos (seriously, it’s my personal worst time-sucking rabbit hole), but I now do it intentionally, because I just really love watching dance videos.
And I’m sure it’s sometimes annoying that I don’t immediately reply to someone when they try to contact me, but the people around you eventually adjust, and you get to stay in charge of how you spend your energy. Since moving to a new city I’m currently making an effort to pre-schedule calls with my friends, and I feel way closer to them than when we were exchanging a text or two a day.
Take that, dopamine.
Are you addicted to your phone? Do you have any tips for ways to put the damn thing down? Share it with me in the comments!
xo,
Amy
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I’m at my happiest when my phone has 0 service so I love this.
100% agreed!