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    Surviving The 5 Stages of Grief (And How To Help Someone Going Through It)

    Surviving The Stages of Grief Pin

    Surviving The Stages of Grief

    At some point or another, all of us will experience grief.

    I’ve experienced major grief for the first time in my life recently, and it’s been hell. There’s really no pain comparable to that loss. But there are ways to make it easier, so I want to share with you what I’ve learned along the way.

    So many of us are uncomfortable even talking about grief—it’s become a taboo subject. People avoid even talking about it, and that makes a lonely time even harder for the person who’s grieving.

    You can always tell when I’m going through a painful time in life when I’ve stopped writing. I took a break from the blog after I left my marriage (which definitely felt like its own form of death and grief), and recently I’ve done it again. I needed time to process and heal from a major loss. And that’s one of the most important pieces of advice I can pass along—take as much time as you need. There’s no right way to grieve.

    My precious dog, Corgi (the corgi), passed away on May 28, 2021.

    Corgi was, in every sense, my child, especially since I don’t plan to have human children. I’ve lost some family members, but this was the first death I experienced that really hit me deeply.

    I picked Corgi out from a litter—it was truly love at first site. My ex Matt and I had saved up and been talking about getting our first puppy together for months, and as soon as I saw him, I knew. He was the dog for me. And he really was.

    I’ve never met another dog as smart as Corgi. I trained him in all sorts of tricks, agility, and obedience, and he was always hungry to learn more (and get more treats). My favorite thing was teaching him something new–it was stunning to me to watch his mind at work as he tried to figure it out. I liked the challenge of trying to communicate to him to get him to do what I wanted, like learning how to open a door on command. And then his joy when it clicked for him was a joy so strong I felt it fill up all of me as well, and we’d celebrate together by jumping and running around.

    Every time I looked up, Corgi was there, staring at me. He gave me more love than I’ve ever felt, and I loved him just as much in turn.

    To be honest, I struggle sometimes forming human friendships and connections. But with Corgi, we could literally communicate with each other with our eyes.

    I’d played out his inevitable possible death in my mind hundreds of times with countless scenarios. But nothing prepared me for the grief.

    Brené Brown calls it “foreboding joy,” or mentally dress-rehearsing tragedy. It’s something our minds do to try to protect us: thinking of worst-case scenarios at moments when we’re filled with love, because we’re so afraid of getting hurt, of losing what we have.

    The hard truth is, though, that everything is temporary. Every connection will end. Death is always around the corner. And nothing prepares you for when it hits. Not even rehearsing the worst in your mind.

    It was always my biggest fear, losing him, even though I knew this, even though I knew I one day would. (It’s cruel, isn’t it, how short our companion animals can live)

    I’d already gone through a horrible year. 2020 was really hard for me, as it was for many. I lost most of my work, had to give up my apartment (and so grateful to have had friends who took me in). Matt had the dogs (Corgi and sweet chihuahua mix Peach) all year in Washington, because we share custody.

    One of the things that got me through the hard days was thinking about my babies and dreaming about having them back with me again soon.

    And then, mere weeks before I was set to move into a new apartment, and finally have the dogs with me again, I got the call we all dread.

    You know that call.

    You know that feeling. That horrible sink down into a twisted reality where life loses its meaning and you find yourself falling, falling

     

    falling.

     

     

     

    And then slammed into the concrete below.

     

    I answered Matt’s call and he was crying. I knew.

    “Corgi has cancer. The vet says he only has a few days to live.”

    What followed was a whirlwind. I flew to Washington on the next flight I could get. I cried the whole way. Corgi was weak, he’d gotten sick suddenly and developed a bad cough, which is what prompted Matt to take him in. I’d seen Corgi shortly before and he had seemed fine.

    It felt like this news had hit us out of nowhere.

    Cancer surrounded Corgi’s heart. He could barely keep food down. We gave him the most beautiful final days we could, taking him to an AirBnB on a lake, and Matt drove him down to California.

    The first weekend I moved in to my apartment, Corgi took his last breath. He was struggling to breathe in the cold darkness of the night. Matt had stayed awake to sit with him, I’d tried to go to sleep despite knowing he was struggling, because I had to teach classes the following morning. I’d prayed he could just hold on a little longer. But Matt woke me up in the middle of the night.

    “It’s time.”

    We took him to an emergency vet 30 agonizing minutes away, the only one open that would allow us to be in the room with him when they put Corgi down. (Thanks again, COVID.)

    I still feel haunted by it, and the grief is just as strong now, three months later.

    I’m sure that if you’re reading this, you likely know exactly what I mean. When you love someone with your whole, full heart, it’s devastating to have that ripped away. And it takes time to heal.

    The weekend after I lost Corgi, I taught a yoga class out on the cliffs of San Diego. I met a woman who had lost her dog three months prior, and it was still hurting with her just as much as that first week. Now that I’m three months in, I understand even more deeply, because it’s still with me too.

    If you’re going through grief right now, I’m so sorry. I’m sending you a huge hug.

    Grief can take many forms. Sometimes it’s not even losing a loved one. You can feel grief around any kind of loss. Like I mentioned above, you can feel grief with divorce, losing a job, moving, or a friendship ending. Any kind of loss can come with grief.

    The most important thing to remember is that the magnitude of your grief corresponds to how much you cared. And that’s a good thing.

    It’s a superpower to care, to love. It’s hard to open ourselves up to that vulnerability because we know the loss may come at some point down the line. But what’s the alternative? Not loving at all? Closing ourselves off to feeling?

    I’d much rather have loved this dog so much I feel a burning hole in my chest every day … than to have never had him at all.

    (By the way, I highly recommend diving into more of Brené Brown‘s work if you’re not familiar with her—she focuses primarily on vulnerability, and how it’s essential to living a whole-hearted, full, courageous life. Try reading her book Daring Greatly to start.)

    As they say: It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

     

    Surviving The Stages of Grief

     

    The 5 Stages of Grief

    There are five stages of grief, according to the widely-used Kübler-Ross model. It’s important to note that healing is not a linear process—meaning you won’t go neatly down from one stage to another. You’ll likely bounce around from Stage 1, to 3, to 2, to 3, to 4, to 1, to 3… you get the idea. Think of these more as concentric circles than a line. There’s no one way to process grief, but it can be helpful to understand what you’re experiencing, and to know that’s all a healthy part of your natural healing process.

    They are:

    1. Denial and Isolation

    Our brains’ main priority is to keep us safe. So it doesn’t want to accept new painful information, and our first response to grief is often denial. You just don’t want to believe it’s true.

    The entire plane ride to Washington, I kept running it through my mind: surely the vet was wrong? surely they misread Corgi’s charts? there’s no way this is happening.

    This isn’t happening.

    This isn’t happening.

     

    With denial comes isolation. We don’t want to face any more reminders of the truth. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to the friends who called me when I first found out. It felt as if talking about it would make it real. Grief can be overwhelming to deal with, so it’s normal to withdraw.

    2. Anger

    After denial and isolation, you feel anger. You feel like WHY is this happening to ME. I wanted to scream and scream. At God, the Universe, the birds, the sun, everyone and everything. I was so angry that I had to feel this pain, so unfair that this would happen.

    Corgi was only 9. As a Pembroke welsh corgi, I’d long assumed he’d lived to around age 15. I often (half) jokingly looked at his beautiful doggy face and told him he’d live to 20. And deep down, I’d believed it. Or wanted to. So I felt immense rage at losing him so young, especially because I gave him the best dog food, he was super healthy, I gave him CBD and supplements and somehow hoped I could bargain my way to buying him more years of life.

    3. Bargaining

    Speaking of bargaining–it’s stage three of grief. Our brains are fighting to maintain some sense of control over the situation, so we start trying to come up with ways out of it. You might pray, begging for a miracle. I know I did. Or you may try to desperately scramble for solutions. What if we try this— what if we do this—. And in some cases, maybe, this can work out. We can always hope. But often we simply can’t change what’s set in motion, and that’s okay.

    It’s not on us.

    You did all you could. Please know that.

    4. Depression

    When you start to really feel the full weight of your loss, you’re ready for stage four, the most fun one of all! Depression!

    This is the stage I resent the most. I’ve struggled with chronic depression my entire life, so it doesn’t actually take all that much to tip me back over the edge and right back into it. I always describe it as if my head is swollen. The pain literally makes my head throb. I feel absolutely hopeless about every thing, and struggle to feel any emotion at all, except for deep pain and sadness.

    The depression stage is challenging. But it’s so important to remember that it’s temporary. You will not feel this way forever. With grief-induced depression, it goes away eventually on its own. Sometimes that takes some extra help though, so please seek out therapy (I recommend using Psychology Today to find one) or medical care if you feel you need more support.

    And it’s okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to be depressed. It’s a healthy response to grief. Like I said above, when you love and lose that much, of course you are going to mourn. Our society is super uncomfortable with sadness. It often seems more acceptable to be angry than drowning in depression. Please know that other people’s discomfort isn’t about you or your situation. It’s about their unwillingness to face the hard side of life—and we’ll talk about more ways to handle this in a moment.

    You deserve to be loved and supported, even if that’s not always available to you. Breathe, and know the depression stage will pass. And when it does, you finally reach peace in stage five:

    5. Acceptance

    Eventually, you will come to terms with your loss. Grief leads to acceptance. You’re able in this stage to wrap your head around the full experience of what’s happened, and accept that what is, is.

    This doesn’t mean you’re done with your grief, though. Coping with it does get easier with time, but that doesn’t mean the pain always disappears completely. Sometimes it’s a lifelong process. And acceptance isn’t saying that what happened is okay—just that it happened.

    I have a feeling I won’t ever get over losing Corgi. I’m planning to get a tattoo of his outline, so I can have him with me always. I’ve never gotten a tattoo before, but I’ve always known I’d do it after I lost him, because he’s forever branded on my heart. I’d say I’m probably in the acceptance stage at this point, but it still hurts, and sometimes I dip back into one of the other stages.

    There’s no fully letting go, but there is a reframing of the loss. As time goes on, it’s easier to look back and feel gratitude for the love or joy you had, rather than focusing on the pain of the loss.

    Sometimes I still forget Corgi is gone—I think he’s still with Matt, or just behind me. And recently, butterflies and birds have been flying right in front of my face, catching me off guard. I truly believe it’s Corgi saying hello. I talk to his ashes and light a candle for him every day. It helps me feel better to continue to feel connected with him even though he’s gone, at least from this world.

     

    Surviving The Stages of Grief

     

    How To Help Someone Going Through The Stages of Grief

    The hardest part, for me, of going through grief (and I’m definitely still going through it), was experiencing how uncomfortable other people are with it. I had some wonderful friends and family who reached out and sent gifts for Corgi and supported me through his decline. But I also noticed some friends who never mentioned anything about it, and still haven’t, even though I know they know.

    I’m not upset about it, because I know how hard it is to face the uglier side of life. But grief really does come for us, at some point, if you’re opening yourself up at all.

    We all experience it, but it’s still hard to know how to be there for a loved one when they’re going through it. But here’s what I’ve found to be the most meaningful ways to reach out after going through it myself.

    Best ways to help someone in grief:

    • Leave loving messages that don’t require a response
    • Pray for them
    • Send a meal, flowers, or a gift
    • Help with medical/funeral costs or planning
    • Give them space when needed
    • Make a scrapbook of their loved one
    • Offer to help with home tasks
    • Don’t force talking about it, but do acknowledge that you know they’re hurting, and why
    • Don’t worry if you’re not sure what to say
    • Just let them know you care

    I promise that if you do any of those things to support a loved one going through grief, it will mean more to them than they’ll ever be able to express.

    And if you’re the one going through grief, it’s important to take care of yourself.

    Nurture and love yourself through this wounded period, and make the days as easy on yourself as you can, for as long as you need.

    Best ways to help yourself heal from grief:

    • Create an altar or ritual to remember your loved one (I light a candle to Corgi)
    • Get a massage (you have to get the tension from the pain out of your body)
    • Take long baths with epsom salts
    • Incorporate your loved one’s ashes in a special piece of jewelry (like this ring) or art
    • Turn to your spiritual practice
    • Go for long walks
    • Spend time with a friend
    • Meditate
    • Move your body
    • Cry as much as you need
    • Watch your favorite funny or lighthearted TV show or movie (it’s ok to laugh)
    • Do anything that brings you joy (it’s ok to feel moments of happiness)
    • Give it time

    Remember that all healing takes time.

    Grief is a heavy emotional hit—the biggest one of all. And anything that affects your mind and heart will also affect your body. It’s normal to get sick because of grief—I got a horrible skin infection that’s still healing.

    So be sure to take care of yourself. Whatever you need, give it to yourself. Don’t judge how you handle the grief, or how long it takes you to heal. All ways of healing are valid.

    It’s going to hurt. But it will also eventually hurt less, and less, and less, until hardly at all. Time really does heal all wounds, so even though you may be in the thick of it right now, it will one day be brighter.

    You’ll feel joy. You’ll have beautiful days you’ll remember forever. And you’ll love again.

    The best way to honor your grief, and the beauty of what you’ve lost, is by celebrating life right now. After all, all we know for sure is that we have this precious present moment.

    So open up your heart once more, dear one, and live it.

     

    » Song Vibes «

    xo,

    Amy

    What has your experience with grief been like? Share with me in the Comments in the Disqus section below.

    This post is not sponsored, but it does contain affiliate links. I truly love these products and know you will, too. Thanks for supporting the blog!

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    The Top 10 Self-Help Books To Learn About Mindfulness and Spiritual Growth

    Top 10 Self Help Books List

    Top Self Help Books For Mindfulness

    These self-help and mindfulness books will change your life.

    I know they did mine. Growing up, I didn’t really have anyone I could turn to for advice. But I learned from an early age to turn to books to find the wisdom I craved—it’s what inspired me to become a writer myself. And once I found these self-help and mindfulness books in my mid-20s, my self-growth flew to a whole new level.

    I really dove into my personal and spiritual development in 2015, when I was hitting a point of rock bottom in my life and studying yoga and meditation in order to heal and become a teacher myself. I had spent most of my adolescence and 20s lost, depressed, and making bad choices. But I also knew that there was a way to be happier, and I wanted to learn everything I could about how to do that. When I say these books changed my life, I mean it. They helped teach me how to think and expanded my awareness about what life is, as well as who I am and who I can become.

    Whether you’re feeling lost or just craving some powerful inspiration and motivation from the top thought leaders in the world, these self-help books are just what you need. I’ve read them all multiple times now, and I know I’ll continue to re-read them as my life goes on.

    I hope these books help support you on your own journey to self-growth and actualization.

    You CAN be happy. You can be fulfilled. You can be the person you’ve always dreamed of being. There’s a better way to live, and these books will teach you how. It all starts with getting to know yourself and healing past wounds through mindfulness.

    By the way—all of the below books are linked to Bookshop, which is an amazing website that supports local, independent bookstores. I’ve been trying to buy less from Amazon lately in an effort to shop small businesses, and so I hope you’ll join me in purchasing your books from this awesome online store!

    Now, let’s get to the good stuff—the book list:

     

    THE TOP 10 SELF-HELP BOOKS TO LEARN ABOUT MINDFULNESS AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH

     

    1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

     

    If I could only recommend ONE book to you, it would be this. Hands down, The Power of Now wins. Talk about a life-changer; this single book completely changed who I am and how I think. Which sounds dramatic, but it’s true. Reading this book is when I really first began to understand meditation and made the commitment to start my own practice. Eckhart Tolle is a world-renowned spiritual leader, and in this book he teaches how to find enlightenment through becoming more fully present in the NOW.

    I definitely recommend reading a hard copy of this book instead of getting an audiobook because you’ll want to really focus and give this book the mindful presence it teaches about. I’m normally a big audiobook fan, but trust me, you’ll want your full attention for this and the other books on this list!

     

    2. Stay Woke by Justin Michael Williams

     

    I discovered Justin Michael Williams a year ago when I was researching my Master List of Black Wellness Leaders, and he has since become my BIGGEST spiritual and mindfulness teacher. Like, I’m committed. I’ve taken all of his courses, which include The Liberation Experience (on conscious activism) and 40 Days to Transformation (a transformative meditation practice). He is my top recommendation for learning meditation, because he teaches in a way that is real, accessible, and inclusive—his message is that through our own spiritual growth and personal development, we can go on to change the world.

    And the best way to access all his wisdom is in his incredible book, Stay Woke. It teaches all the essentials of meditation and mindfulness in a modern, fresh way I’ve never seen before in the spiritual space, but is sorely needed. As the title says: it’s A Meditation Guide for the Rest of Us. Also, you definitely need the hard copy of this book, too, because it’s more of a workbook, really, with spaces for you to practice exercises and reflect. 

     

    3. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

     

    I’m going to give you a little (non) spoiler. What ARE The Four Agreements? Well, they are:

    1. Be impeccable with your word. 

    2. Don’t take anything personally. 

    3. Don’t make assumptions.

    4. Always do your best.

    This must-read book by Don Miguel Ruiz is short, but incredibly powerful. If you really follow these four simple-yet-complex life rules, which the book explores in detail, your entire way of approaching life will change.

    This quick read teaches you how to stop self-limiting beliefs and needless suffering. I actually have an awesome Etsy poster of these Four Agreements framed on my wall, as a way to constantly remind myself of this effective code for living a full life.

     

    4. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

     

    I STAN Brené Brown. I was once talking to my husband and brought her up and asked if he knew who she was—and he responded that if, after being married to me all those years, if he didn’t know who Brené Brown, there’d be a serious problem. Safe to say I talk about her and her work a lot.

    Specifically, Brené is a researcher and professor, focusing for over 20 years on the study of courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy in a very data-driven, realistic way that’s also full of profound wisdom and heart. All of her books are must-reads (the first one I read was The Gifts of Imperfection), but if you could only pick one, I’d tell you to read Daring Greatly to get a solid full scope of her teachings.

    This self-help book will make you rethink vulnerability as Brené proves that it’s the real source of courage, as well as the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. After all, mindfulness is not just about checking your thoughts—it’s about tapping into your heart to show up as the fullest version of yourself, and that requires brave, authentic vulnerability.

     

    5. The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson

     

    I love a self-help and personal growth book that keeps it REAL. And it doesn’t get realer than Mark Manson‘s no-bullshit bestseller, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck. It’s an incredibly entertaining read while also delivering some major truthbombs.

    Mark is an OG blogger, providing “life advice that doesn’t suck.” His work is always full of heavily-researched science and data to back his hilarious and intelligent writing style.

    In the book, Mark explains how to stop trying to be positive all the time in order to actually be happy, and how to let go of stress you don’t really need. There are only so many things we can give a fuck about, so we need to figure out which ones really matter. It’s an approach to mindfulness that tells it like it is—life is sometimes really messed up and shit happens. But we control how we react to it all in order to free ourselves.

     

    6. The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein

     

    This book is all about how to make the shift from fear to faith. It goes down a deeper spiritual path than the rest on this list, showing you how to trust the Universe (or God, or whatever you call life’s Higher Power). It takes mindfulness to the next level—by teaching you how to step out of your own way and call in an energetic frequency of faith to co-create your best life.

    My good friend Courteney introduced me to spiritual leader Gabrielle (Gabby) Bernstein years ago, when I first mentioned I wanted to try to get into self-help books. At the time, I was the Queen of Control—I wanted to have full control over everything in my life, and was easily stressed and panicked when things weren’t going according to my plan. Through Gabby’s work, I’ve learned how to surrender and feel safe even in the face of uncertainty. The Universe Has Your Back has been the most impactful of the books I’ve read by Gabby (though they’re all amazing), and helped me learn how to clearly listen to my intuition.

     

    7. Man’s Search For Meaning by Dr. Viktor E. Frankl

     

    Dr. Viktor Frankl was a Jewish professor of neurology and psychiatry at the University of Vienna Medical School—and during WWII, he was imprisoned for three years in Auschwitz, Dachau, and other concentration camps. Talk about someone who can impart some DEEP wisdom on how to get through the most painful of circumstances. Because of his experience as a psychiatrist, Dr. Frankl was able to observe and analyze the various ways his fellow prisoners reacted to their shared horrific experiences. He noticed that some were able to endure more easily than others, and that choosing to transform and find meaning in the suffering was often at the core.

    From this, Frankl developed his theory of logotherapy (from the Greek word for “meaning”): that the primary human drive is not pleasure, but rather the discovery and pursuit of meaning. Man’s Search For Meaning is a slim book, but every line is dripping with wisdom; my copy is very heavily underlined, and yours will be, too. It’s heavy but powerfully inspiring.

     

    8. The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger

     

    Dr. Edith (“Edie”) Eva Eger was also imprisoned at Auschwitz at the same time as Viktor Frankl. However, while he was already a psychiatrist and an adult at that time, Edith was only a 16 year old girl. Her unique perspective on the experience is the perfect accompaniment to Man’s Search For Meaning (I read it right after) because she had to take those traumatic young years and figure out how to heal all on her own.

    She explains that the way through this traumatic time in her life was by realizing that while we can’t always control what happens to us, we are always in control of how we react. We have the CHOICE of how we will interpret and respond to the events. Edith chose to remain hopeful even in the darkest of possible circumstances, and it allowed her to continue forward and become an incredibly influential teacher and psychologist herself—Viktor Frankl even became her mentor years after the Holocaust.

    Edith is now in her 90s and continuing to thrive, radiating positivity and wisdom. She is a stunning force to learn from, and The Choice is one of those books that will change you—because if she could survive, despite the worst of tragedies, then we can tap into the power of our minds to overcome our own obstacles, too.

     

    9. Untamed by Glennon Doyle

     

    Chances are, you’ve heard of Untamed. It became a huge bestseller in 2020, and for good reason. Glennon Doyle is a radical feminist, activist, and human—radical in that she does not hold back in speaking the truth and shining a light on all the ways life and society tries to imprison us. While this memoir speaks especially to the experience of being a woman, and how to find empowerment despite all the messaging trying to limit our expression, everyone should read this.

    This book explores how joy and inner peace can be found once you start trusting your own intuition, self-worth, and strength in life. It will teach you how to stop abandoning yourself, embrace who you really are, and realize your true power.

    A little pro tip: start by reading Glennon’s previous book, Love Warrior (also a great read). I read it right before Untamed, and I think it really helps set the stage. Glennon has undergone an incredible transformation in her own life by overcoming addiction, ending a marriage that wasn’t serving her, and discovering she is gay. Having that backstory made Untamed even more powerful to read than I think it’d be going in dark, since you get to follow her on her journey of growth as you find your own full self-expression.

     

    10. You Are The Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza

     

    You Are The Placebo take a more scientific approach in analyzing the power of our thoughts and mindfulness, using the latest discoveries from neuroscience and quantum physics to teach a spiritually profound practice. It’s all about how your thoughts create your reality—literally. The title “you are the placebo” means that your thoughts can either support your physical health, or harm you. Your body is always listening to what’s going on in your mind. There’s immense power behind your beliefs.

    Dr. Joe Dispenza discovered this during his own incredible healing journey. After being hit by a car while on his bike, Joe’s spine was shattered, and he was told he would be forever paralyzed. He spent weeks doing intense meditation to focus on healing his body, visualizing the end result of health he desired. And you guessed it—it worked, and he went on to share this wisdom with his own patients in his chiropractic practice and beyond. I read this book prior to undergoing a major surgery, and I’ve used all that I’ve learned in this book to tap into my body’s healing powers to recover. It will make you think about miracles in a whole new light.

     

     

    » Song Vibes «

    My favorite music to listen to when I read is soft jazz, so here’s a playlist to set the mood. Happy reading!

     

    What are your favorite Self-Help and/or Mindfulness Books? Share with the class—drop a note and let me know in the Disqus Comments section below so I can give them a read!

    xo,

    Amy

     

    Image credit: The top gorgeous book artwork is by Hannah Gabel of HLG Creative (be sure to check out her Instagram @bookmarkparty for all her book recommendations!).

    This post is not sponsored, but it does contain affiliate links. I truly love these products and know you will, too. Thanks for supporting the blog!

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    Goodbye, Infinite Embers — HELLO, Mind Body Badass!

    Mind Body Badass Infinite Embers

    New Name, Who Dis?

    Hello friends! It’s time for a little update, and a major glow-up: I’ve decided to rename the website!

    I dreamed up the name Infinite Embers four years ago, when I first began this blog in 2017. I love it because it’s deeply symbolic to me, but it just isn’t clear enough about who I am/this blog’s message promoting mind-body wellness. I wanted to make it more immediately clear what this space is about to everyone who lands here.

    Saying goodbye to Infinite Embers has been bittersweet.

    Infinite Embers to me symbolized that we each have an infinite fire burning in our souls that can never be extinguished, and that message still is so important to me. Nothing can defeat you—there is always hope. That name will always be nostalgic to me.

    But after a ton of brainstorming and taking a step back from creating content to really focus on the direction of where I want to take this site moving forward, I came up with our awesome new name:

    Mind Body Badass!

    And let me tell ya—I’m in LOVE. I think it’s perfect. It just hits right. My intuition lights up when I think about it, so I know it’s the right choice to grow this blog in 2021 and beyond.

    Infinite Embers felt deep and artistic to me, which was beautiful, but harder from a branding standpoint. Mind Body Badass? I think you get right away what I’m about.

    I’m here to help you heal your Mind + Body so you can be the baddest Badass you can be.

    You can’t really thrive in your soul, go after your dreams, or fulfill your purpose if you feel like shit. That’s just, honestly, the way it is. I know, because I’ve been there. I was in pain both mentally and physically for much of my life, and I always felt like I was falling behind in life because my health was getting in my way.

    Our modern Western society really tends to separate our minds from our bodies, but they’re one and the same. I mean, your brain is literally in your body, and everything is connected—if you’re unwell in one area, it spreads.

    And I’m here to help guide you to heal all that, so you’re finally able to SHINE and live the life you’ve always wanted.

    Whether you’ve been reading this blog since I started it in 2017, or you’re brand new to this space: welcome. This is the first step forward in your journey to healing, feeling great, and stepping into your full power!

    I want to share that I was super nervous about making this whole name change. My inner chorus of fears and shadows tried to stand in the way.

    First, I told myself it’d be **too hard**. Like, ugh, now I have to change my name on all social channels (DONE: follow me at @mindbodybadass everywhere, including Instagram!). And I have to learn how to transfer over this whole website to a new domain (a work in progress).

    I also felt fear. Would the new name ruin my SEO (how easily people can Google and find me)? Would people not be able to find this site anymore? What if it ruined all the work I’ve put in to build it so far?

    Then, there was resistance. Like, laziness and procrastination. Even though I felt in my intuition YEARS ago that changing my name would help spread the message easier across the web, I put it off. And off. And off. Can you relate? I do this often with big projects I don’t want to get to, which is usually just because I feel intimated (another form of fear).

    It wasn’t easy to make this big move, but I hope it inspires you to make big changes in your life, too.

    Growth is our main mission in life. Just like plants, we all grow and change every day. It’s either in the direction of the Light, towards your highest purpose, or it’s in the direction of Dark, which is where you stop growing and get pulled down by the inevitable challenges of life.

    The obvious choice is to keep growing towards the Light, right? But it’s not easy. Making important changes requires you to get out of your comfort zone, to love yourself enough to know what you deserve. It’s difficult, but essential.

    What’s a change you know you need to make but have been ignoring?

    Let this be a little message from the Universe: it’s time to make Boss Moves. Go for it, babe. You got this.

    You’re a badass.

    » Song Vibes «

    So—what do you think of our new name? I can’t wait to hear your thoughts—drop me a note in the Disqus Comments section below and help me say a fond farewell to “Infinite Embers”!

    xo,
    Amy

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  • Mind

    Free Active Meditation Download

    Active Meditation

    Don’t have time to add meditation to your to-do list? I’ve got the solution: this FREE 20 Minute Active Meditation guided audio download!

    I’ll be honest: even as a Meditation teacher, I often find myself feeling tempted to skip my meditation practice. I typically like to practice in the morning, after I do some light yoga, but some mornings I wake up feeling unmotivated, or too overwhelmed by my to-do list. So I created this Active Meditation to solve this problem!

    You’ll get a 20 minute guided meditation audio download, led by me. Just put on your headphones and go: do the dishes, take a walk, whatever fits seamlessly into your day!

    That’s right—you CAN meditate any time, anywhere. It’s a common myth about meditation that you need to be sitting perfectly still. I find that way too uncomfortable, anyhow.

    We can bring our dedication to mindfulness to everything we do. You just have to be fully present.

    You’ve probably felt this before—when you’re completely in the moment, not worrying about anything else except what’s happening right now. It’s often described as a sense of flow.

    You may feel like you’re meditating when you’re on a run. Or when you’re playing with your dogs. Or cooking dinner.

    An active meditation will help you become more purposeful in finding that flow more naturally. This guide will teach you how to become more rooted in your body and breath, and release anxious thinking about the past, future, and all that you can’t control so you can show up more powerfully in your life.

    Active Meditation

    This 20 Minute Active Meditation is your secret weapon for whenever you’re feeling blah and need an alignment tune-up but can’t drop everything in your busy life to be still.

    This audio file is perfect to use any time you want to become more mindful, without stopping. You’ll get the benefits of meditation without interrupting your busy schedule: a clear mind and focus, stronger sense of connection and purpose, and calmer nervous system.

    It’s really common to feel too anxious to focus when meditating sitting still. That’s why a lot of people give up! So it’s definitely good news that you don’t have to cross your legs and Om your way to peace. This guided Meditation download coaches you in how to be present no matter what you’re doing, in the modern age.

    And if you want to dive deeper into meditation, I have a full beginner breath-focused online course called Shortcut to Calm that will help you deepen your practice. (Get 10% off your purchase with the coupon code iesquad10)

    I hope you enjoy! This FREE Active Meditation download is my gift to you as I get ready to celebrate my birthday this Friday. Be sure to drop me a note in the comments below to let me know what you think after you try it out!

    » Song Vibes «

    Listen to this Rhythmic Meditation album by Beautiful Chorus to keep the Active Meditation vibes going after you’re done (great for work!).

    When do you feel like you’re in an active meditation state naturally in your life? I’d love to hear—drop me a note in the Disqus Comments section below!

    xo,

    Amy

    Photos by Matthew Hanley, edits by me

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  • Body, Mind, Yoga

    The Ultimate 2020 Holiday Wellness Gift Guide

    Not sure what to give your loved ones this holiday season? I’ve got you covered with this 2020 Wellness Gift Guide!

    There’s nothing that says I love you quite like the gift of wellness — everyone can benefit from taking care of their health and feeling better inside and out, especially during the holiday season.

    November is here, which means it’s time to plan your gift lists for this upcoming Christmas and Hanukkah (and anything else you celebrate). But coming up with new creative ideas for everyone on your list can quickly get overwhelming. Now you don’t need to worry about what to give your Uncle Johnny—these wellness gift ideas will make shopping for everyone a breeze.

    I mean, let’s be real—we’ve probably all given enough candles. (I do LOVE candles, but you can only give so many.) This master list has wellness gifts that are unique and special enough to remember, and are things your loved ones will actually use and enjoy.

    Growing up, I loved watching Oprah on TV after school with my mom, and in putting together this list I’ve totally channeled her annual Favorite Things. Here are all of the best, chic, and affordable wellness gifts for this holiday season that the people in your life will be super stoked to receive.

    I’ve rounded up ALL the best wellness gift ideas in 2020 to fit every budget!

    The wellness gift ideas are organized in categories that are just like this site: the best presents for mental health (Mind), physical health (Body), Yoga, and Fitness. Everything is listed by alphabetical order, and you’ll find something for everyone, in each price point.

    There are ten gift ideas in each category, for a total of 40 different amazing options. You’ll find gift ideas for as low as $8, and this list covers everyone from your super athlete brother to your grandma.

    Also, I highly recommend buying the items below for yourself, too! As the Parks and Rec saying goes: Treat yo self. I actually got most of these ideas based on things I have either been given or have given as gifts myself, so I can vouch that they all are amazing ways to give some self-love (which honestly, I think we could all use a bit more of this year).

    Happy holiday season! Let’s dive in to all the best wellness gift ideas of the year:

     

    2020 WELLNESS GIFT GUIDE

    » MIND «

     

    Affirmators! Affirmation Card Deck

    • These warm and cheeky cards are a hit with everyone I’ve ever shared them with. Each card has a heart-filled affirmation and illustration that provides self-help advice while also keeping it real. My friend Kelsey gave me this deck as a gift a few years back, and it’s one of my favorite gifts I’ve ever gotten. I’ve used them in my yoga classes, and everyone lights up when they see the cards’ humorous and loving vibe!
    • Buy: $13, Amazon

    Crystals

    • For the spiritual friend in your life, you can’t go wrong with crystals! (They’re my favorite thing to receive.) Crystals are becoming more and more popular, and there are endless types with different sizes and colors to suit any energy. If you’re not sure which crystal to give, I always recommend an Amethyst, or Rose Quartz. Or, go with a gift set, like this beautiful Chakra one! Etsy is my favorite place to shop for all varieties of crystals from independent business owners online.
    • Buy: $3o, Etsy (other crystal prices vary)

    Heart Talk by Cleo Wade

    • This book feels like a hug from a dear friend—so, the perfect gift. Cleo Wade is an incredible writer and artist (I featured her in my Black Wellness Leaders list), and this book is one that is meant to be picked up daily. Every page has a different inspirational poem, story, etc. that offers wisdom for healing and self-love. My friend Jessica gave it to me for my birthday one year, and I’ve since given it to other friends who have adored it as much as I do. I still pick it up from the coffee table any time I need an emotional boost.
    • Buy: $13, Amazon

    Journal

    • A journal is such a good way to reduce stress and process how you’re feeling. Keeping a gratitude journal in particular has been shown to improve mental health (learn more about gratitude journals here!). They’re practical, meaningful, and don’t break the bank—an ideal gift.
    • My favorite options from Amazon:

    Palo Santo

    • Palo Santo is a popular way to cleanse the energy of a space (see Sage below). But most Palo Santo is not sustainably sourced, and its habitat (dry tropical forest) is currently deeply threatened. According to this article from The New York Times, estimates are that only five to ten percent of dry tropical forests are still intact around the world. So make your palo santo gift extra special by buying sustainably sourced Palo Santo that does not contribute to deforestation! I’ve linked my favorite seller below on Etsy, who collects the Palo Santo in Peru from fallen branches and downed trees.
    • Buy: $9, Etsy

    Philips SmartSleep Wake-up Light

    • Sleep has a LOT to do with your mental health, and there is no better way to wake up than with this light, especially on dark winter mornings. The light gradually simulates lighting up your room just like the sun, triggering the correct hormones in your brain to be released to tell your body that it’s morning and time to wake up! By the time light has filled the room (so helpful on early mornings), your chosen natural sound completes the wake up experience, leaving you ready for the day ahead. I use this clock and it’s a game-changer when it comes to starting your day. It’s a much more gentle, natural wakeup than your iPhone blaring at you from under a pillow.
    • Buy: $117, Amazon

    Sage Bundle

    • Sage is a long-practiced tool to practice energy cleansing. But, like Palo Santo, it can be problematic. Sage is often not harvested sustainably, leaving limited resources for the Indigenous Peoples who originated the practice. Read more about sage and cultural appropriation here. The best way to buy sustainably grown Sage is from a Native reservation, and I’ve found an Indigenous seller on Etsy in Wisconsin who creates beautiful Sage bundles that are a perfect gift!
    • Buy: $6+, Etsy

    Self Care Gift Box

    • Give someone the gift of a night off with a relaxing spa-at-home gift set! This beautiful Self Care Gift Box includes a hand-poured soy candle, bath salts, French green clay mask (great for all skin types), lip balm, and a decorative matchbox, all with a personalized gift card. Everything is handmade in Austin, TX with natural ingredients and essential oils. You also get to choose between Lavender or Vanilla Orange scents!
    • Buy: $28 (with free shipping), Etsy

    Shortcut to Calm Online Meditation Course

    Shortcut To Calm Meditation Course

    • One of the best gifts you can give someone is a meditation class, since it’s so challenging to learn this practice on your own. I created an at-your-own-pace online course that is a wonderful gift for those who are newer to meditation! It’s a week-long online course to learn how to let go of stress by combining proven meditation and breath techniques. Your friend will get seven different 20 min guided meditation audio downloads, a Basics of Meditation lesson, and special bonus materials! All you need is to sign up, then give your login info to your friend so they can experience this simple-yet-powerful stress-relief practice. Learn more here.
    • Buy: $77, Thinkific

    Untamed by Glennon Doyle

    • Untamed is one of the top bestselling books of 2020 for a reason—it’s amazing. I listened to the audiobook around March while going on long walks outside with my dogs, right after reading Glennon Doyle‘s previous book Love Warrior (the two books as a set is an awesome gift idea if you want to do a little extra). The coronavirus pandemic hit my life hard, and this book is full of loving wisdom that I really needed. Doyle’s raw, beautiful writing aims to empower and show the way for women to fully become themselves.
    • Buy: $17, Amazon

     

    2020 WELLNESS GIFT GUIDE

    » BODY «

     

    Acupressure Mat

    • Acupressure mats are a helpful relaxation tool with powerful healing effects. I wrote all about why they’re amazing here—they’re especially helpful for anyone who struggles with stress, pain, or insomnia. The acupressure mat I have and love is this set from HemingWeigh, which comes with a pillow and its own handy tote bag for easy storage!
    • Buy: $30, Amazon

    Bluestone Sunshields

    • You can learn all about Bluestone Sunshields here, but here’s what you most need to know: they block 99% of UVA/UVB rays and Blue Light and cover your whole face. I got mine a couple years back for the sun protection, but the fact that now face shields are being used as a way to protect against covid outdoors means they’re now doubly special. I actually just broke mine (heartbreak), and a replacement is top of my list this year. Bluestone also has a ton of other visor options, including shorter versions, ones that are clear, and more!
    • Buy: $80, Bluestone Sunshields (use the promo code Sunshield15 for 15% off your order)

    GreenAir SpaGlow Diffuser

    • Diffusing essential oils can help relax your nervous system and improve immunity, but a clunky old diffuser kind of ruins the spa vibe. The SpaGlow by GreenAir is a rare find, and it reminds me of a crystal ball (you even turn it on by pressing on it with your palm). The sphere lights up in different calming pastel colors. It’s hard to find, but I tracked it down! A great wellness gift set idea would be to pair this with a couple different essential oils. Two that nearly everyone can enjoy are Lavender and Eucalyptus.
    • Buy: $45, Bulk Apothecary

    Heating Pad

    • If you’ve ever had menstrual cramps or back/neck pain, you’ll know that a great heating pad is everything. This beautiful blue XL heating pad is super soft, heats quickly, had an auto-off option, and is perfect for treating sore muscles in your back, shoulders, stomach, legs, and arms. Plus, it keeps you warm! This is an especially great gift idea for those who are older or have an injury.
    • Buy: $35, Amazon

    Humidifier

    • A humidifier makes a huge difference in how you feel, especially for kids or if you have allergies. But’s it’s also one of those things that’s easy to think of as a splurge, making it a great gift (in a range of available price points). I love this one TaoTronics because of its sleek aesthetically-pleasing look and the option to produce either hot or cold steam. You can even add essential oils to it!
    • Buy: $90, Amazon

    Juicer

    wellness gift

    • This wellness gift is a wow moment—and something the recipient will use for years! A juicer is a great easy way to get the nutrients of fruits and vegetables without having to eat a ton of salads. This juicer is better than most because it’s a slow masticating juicer, meaning it grinds the veggies slower and with less heat to preserve all the vitamins, enzymes, and minerals with less foaming and no clogging.
    • Buy: $160, Amazon

    Magic Wrap

    • The holidays are looking a little different this year. It’s hard to be away from your loved ones—so if you can’t hug your family in person, you can send a hug in the form of this super cozy Magic Wrap! I am obsessed with mine and use it in the cold mornings and to wind down at night. It’s essentially like a soft wearable blanket, and even has pockets! I have to fight my dog Peach over it because she loves to snuggle in it, too—we recommend getting the Cuddle Fleece version.
    • Buy: $38, Magic Wrap (use the promo code EMBERS for 10% off!)

    Massage Pillow

    • Selfishly, I want someone to give me this gift. This massage + heat pillow by Viktor Jurgen is like having your own private masseuse at home. Powerful 3D rotating massage nodes give you a deep-kneading shiatsu massage while it provides heat, relaxing sore muscles. You can use it on your neck, low back, feet, etc!
    • Buy: $40, Amazon

    UrthBox Healthy Snack Box Subscription

    • Everyone loves food—but what do you honestly give your vegan cousin or someone trying to eat healthier? UrthBox! It’s a monthly subscription gift box that features a collection of the best (full-sized) healthy snacks in Classic, Gluten-Free, Vegan, and Diet options! My dad and his wife got me this one year and it’s been one of my favorite wellness gifts ever. They have different gift options (based on box size and length of subscription from 3-6 months) to indulge everyone on your list, or yourself.
    • Buy: $89+, UrthBox

    Weighted Blanket

    • A weighted blanket is one of the best tools to help reduce stress and anxiety and ensure your Secret Santa gets a good night’s sleep. The blanket’s weight relaxes the body because the pressure mimics a therapeutic technique called deep pressure stimulation. Deep pressure stimulation relaxes the body’s nervous system, and basically feels like a really comforting hug, like you’re being held. They’re worth the hype!
    • Buy: $40, Amazon

     

    2020 WELLNESS GIFT GUIDE

    » YOGA «

     

    2,100 Asanas: The Complete Yoga Poses Book

    • This is a gorgeous, coffee-table-sized color book that’s a great gift for the yogis in your life. I bought this book for myself when I first did my yoga teacher training—I wanted to have a bible of sorts of all the possible asanas (poses). There is no one master book to that covers all of yoga (since there are many different branches), but this is the closest I’ve found for a master list of asanas, with photos for each. I do wish the models were more diverse, but as a textbook this book is super helpful both to plan classes (for teachers) or to deepen your own yoga practice.
    • Buy: $25, Amazon

    Glo Online Yoga Class Subscription

    • There’s no better yoga gift than yoga itself! Give yoga classes from the best teachers in the industry with a gift subscription to an online yoga platform like Glo. I’ve been using Glo (formerly YogaGlo) since 2016, and it continues to have some of the best yoga classes I’ve ever found. I’ve learned so much from taking class with the biggest names in yoga (I especially love Sara Clark, Jo Tastula, and Amy Ippoliti [pictured]), and it has everything from Meditations to Yoga Philosophy Classes to Pilates Core workouts. It’s great for someone just starting yoga, or who wants to continue to practice any time, anywhere with Glo’s easy apps and website.
    • Buy: Gift packages available from $18-$216, Glo

    Lady Magic New Moon Mist

    • This incredible small-business created essential oil spray smells like heaven. Each of Live With Moxy’s mists has been charged under the moon and infused with a custom blend of crystal elixirs, herbal allies, and essential oils to create true magic in a bottle. The vanilla and citrus New Moon spray is my personal favorite, and is perfect to enhance a meditation or yoga practice.
    • Buy: $15, Live With Moxy

    Laure B Paintings Yoga Watercolor Art

    • Omg, I love these paintings. How much? So much that I own three of them. Laure B is a local San Diego watercolor artist, and I fell in love with her work when I saw it for sale in the hallways of Trilogy Sanctuary, where I used to teach. I have a mix of her yoga and aerial yoga prints, and am all about the vibrant rainbow colors! Laure has a wide variety of prints and original paintings for sale on her Etsy store, and I basically want them all.
    • Buy: Etsy (prices vary)

    Manduka PRO Yoga Mat

    • This is called the PRO yoga mat for a reason—it’s the best of the best. I’ve tried a ton of different yoga mats, from the $7 Walmart variety all the way to this one, and this one from Manduka is a clear winner (different colors available). With a nice thick 6mm cushioning, a grippy surface, and an available extra long length of 85″ (ideal for those who are taller), it makes for a really comfortable yoga practice. It is a bit of an investment, price-wise, but that’s what makes this such a nice gift, and this mat really does stand the test of time. Years and tons of use later, the one I got five years ago looks the same as it did on day one.
    • Buy: $120-146 (free shipping), Manduka

    Mat Carrier

    • There are a lot of different yoga mat bags and carriers out there, but I love this one from Manduka for a couple reasons: It can fit any size mat, from the heavier PRO to thinner ones. It’s more sturdy than the kinds that are just straps. And it has a handy large storage pocket for your valuables, like keys and wallet. It’s also weather- and water-resistant!
    • Buy: $32, Manduka

    Yoga Pose Christmas Ornaments

    • I feel like ornaments are the ideal present for those who celebrate Christmas, because everyone uses them and you can’t really ever have too many! In my family it’s always been a big part of our holiday traditions to unpack our ornaments and relive the memories from whoever gave them to us while we decorate the tree. I absolutely adore these female yoga pose ornaments hand-created by IronMaidArt on Etsy. They’re made of aluminum and can even be customized!
    • Buy: $12 each, Etsy

    Yoga Pose Cookie Cutter Set

    • A staple of the holiday season? Cookies—and what better way to have fun with your baking than with yoga cookie cutters! This (gender-neutral) stainless steel cookie cutter set from YummiYogi has five of the most popular and recognizable asanas: Tree Pose, Downward-Facing Dog, Warrior 2, Warrior 3, and Crescent Lunge. These would be so fun to decorate and can be used all year round.
    • Buy: $40, Etsy

    Yoga Towel

    • It’s normal to sweat a lot during a typical yoga class, especially if your loved one does Hot Yoga or Vinyasa. Using a yoga towel makes a huge difference to prevent slipping, and to help keep you and your mat clean. This soft microfiber towel from lululemon comes in a variety of beautiful colors and is sized to perfectly lay on top of your yoga mat.
    • Buy: $38, lululemon

    Yoga Wheel

    • The yoga wheel is a unique and useful tool to help stretch and release tension in the back, chest, shoulders, stomach, and hips. It feels so good to lay on it, and it can be used in multiple ways, including adding difficulty to your practice or working your core. The Dharma Yoga Wheel is the OG—the first yoga wheel that launched the trend, and it’s comfortable, durable… and fun!
    • Buy: $39, Amazon

     

    2020 WELLNESS GIFT GUIDE

    » FITNESS «

     

    Alo Yoga City Zen Duffel Gym Bag

    • I am very particular when it comes to my gym bag (since I live and work out of it), and this sleek gender-neutral duffel by Alo Yoga is IT. It’s a functional carryall with a bottom zip compartment for shoes/sweaty clothes, plenty of inside and outside pockets, soft carrying straps, and even additional stretchy straps on the front that hold a yoga mat. It holds everything you need to go directly from work to the gym or off on a weekend getaway. It’s worth the price tag for its durability and multi-functionality!
    • $198, Alo Yoga

    Bala Bangles

    wellness gift

    • Bala Bangles are not only effective, they’re also sleek and stylish to wear (these ain’t your dad’s velcro ankle weights). They’re a great way to add more difficulty to any workout! The Bangles are available in 1/2, 1, or 2 lb sizes in various colors and can be worn on your wrists or ankles.
    • Buy: $49, Carbon38 (use promo code AMYBAA15 at checkout to save 15%)

    lululemon Hooded Define Jacket

    • Buying clothes for other people can be tricky, but not with this universally flattering athletic Hooded Define Jacket from lululemon! This jacket was the last thing I purchased in a store, days before the lockdowns in February, and it is everything I’ve ever wanted in a light sports jacket. It’s buttery soft, just the right amount of warm, and comes in a variety of colors, sizes 0-14. I love lululemon because their products do last for years, even with daily wear (I wore my last one for three years straight).
    • Buy: $128, lululemon

    Perfect Pushup Elite

    • This is a great gift for any fitness lovers in your life, and they’re not likely to already have it. The Perfect Pushup Elite handles are a serious secret workout game-changer! They challenge your muscles more when doing exercises like planks or push-ups, AND they are ideal to use for anyone with sensitive or injured wrists. You can learn all about them in this post.
    • Buy: $26, Amazon

    Resistance Booty Bands

    • There are a lot of resistance bands out there, but these ones don’t mess around: they’re made of a nice thick fabric, are well-structured, and offer a lot of resistance. This is an awesome wellness gift for the gym lover in your life that doesn’t break the bank but will be adored. I use them to improve my squats and have gotten so much stronger since I got them in July!
    • $12, Amazon

    Standing Desk Balance Board

    • These days, lots of people know that sitting for long stretches is not so good for your health and have standing desks (learn more about the benefits of standing desks here). But there’s another element that’s also important—how you stand. It’s important to shift positions and keep your muscles engaged. This balance board by Fezibo is honestly the missing piece to the puzzle we’ve been looking for. It puts your body into better posture and keep your core and legs active while you work, relieving fatigue for the lucky recipient of this unique wellness gift!
    • Buy: $59, Amazon

    Sunny Stepper Machine

    • Exercise has been difficult this year, with limited access to gyms or fitness classes thanks to covid. Plus add in the challenges that most workout equipment typically costs thousands of dollars and the winter months make it hard to go move outside. Enter the solution: this stepper machine. Your loved one will be able to get in their 10,000 daily steps or an elliptical-like workout with the Sunny Health & Fitness Twist Stepper, which also twists and has resistance bands to target your core and upper body for a total-body workout. The best part is, it takes up very little space, is durable, and actually affordable!
    • Buy: $77, Amazon

    Theragun Massage Gun

    wellness gift

    • Basically everyone has knots and sore muscles that need to be worked out, especially if they’re super active. But while buying someone a massage is nice, gifting them a Theragun is like giving a lifetime of massage, on demand, for the same price! If you haven’t used a massage gun, it’s amazing—the machine vibrates to give you a deep-tissue massage. You can use it on yourself, and this massage gun from Chirogun has 15 head attachments so you can treat any muscle in your body, at a price that’s more affordable than the Theragun brand but works the exact same way.
    • Buy: $99, Amazon

    Travel Foam Roller

    • Do you know someone who likes to workout even while traveling? They’ll absolutely love this gift: a travel-sized foam roller! Foam rolling is such a useful tool to massage out sore and tight muscles and loosen connective fascia, like the massage gun. This TriggerPoint Grid Foam Roller Mini is the one I have and love—but they don’t make it anymore, so it’s really hard to find. Luckily, I tracked down an online store that’s still got some for sale, making this a special rare gift you should jump on quickly!
    • Buy: $22, L9 Sports

    Ultimate Ears Boom 3 Speaker

    • As you can see below, I’m a BIG fan of music (I always post a song to set the mood). Especially as a fitness instructor, I don’t play when it comes to speakers. Trust me, THIS is the speaker to get. It may be small, but the Ultimate Ears Boom 3 has better sound than any other portable speaker I’ve tried. It has Bluetooth, 360 degree sound with deep bass, a 15 hour battery life, comes in different colors, and is waterproof and virtually indestructible. I mean—come on. It delivers enough sound to more than pump you up for a workout. (They also make a Megaboom if you want even more features!)
    •  Buy: $147, Amazon

     

    Happy holiday shopping! Your friends and family (or you!) will love these wellness gifts.

    » Song Vibes «

    What else should I add to this 2020 Wellness Gift Guide? I’d love to hear what you think in the Disqus Comments section below!

    xo,

    Amy

    This post is not sponsored, but it does contain affiliate links. I truly love these products and know you and your gift-ees will, too. Thanks for supporting the blog!

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  • Mind

    What To Do If You Are Feeling Lonely

    Feeling Lonely

    Feeling Lonely

    Have you been feeling lonely lately? You’re not alone—and I mean that in every sense.

    In 2020 we’re experiencing not just the coronavirus pandemic, but also a pandemic of feeling lonely. I know I certainly have.

    I spent all of March-July at home in my studio apartment, by myself. And I didn’t even have my dogs—they’re currently living with my ex in WA, since we split custody. I got to visit them last month (see if you can spot them in each photo here!) and it made my heart so much fuller, but now I’m back to quarantining at home in LA and fighting that loneliness on the daily. It’s a constant challenge, so I understand what it means that you’re feeling lonely, too.

    In a way, we’ve been building up to this point, as a society. Our technology has been drawing us further and further away from each other as we retreat into virtual worlds. I think we’ve all been guilty of staring at our phones instead of talking to the people around us.

    I used to self isolate a lot. Sometimes I still do—I can get really focused in a working/creating mode and not devote enough time in my schedule to cultivating my friendships. I spend a lot of time with just my two dogs, and have had to train myself to find the connection I always longed for.

    I want you to know this loneliness is a feeling, and it’s temporary. You CAN feel the love you’re wanting.

    Even though my brain still tries to set its default mode back into loneliness all the time, I follow the steps I’ve outlined here and take action to overcome it. It can be done!

    Nothing is wrong with you, especially if you’re feeling lonely. Know that your thoughts may be saying that, but that doesn’t mean they’re right. And they’ll argue with me on this, too. But trust me—you are worthy and you are lovable and you are not alone.

    It all really begins by cultivating a relationship with YOURSELF. If you love and support yourself with your thoughts, you will find it easier to spend time by yourself. We can be our own worst enemies, which is why we need to turn to self-love. Seeking a therapist can really help you through that process, and you’ll find it easier to reach out to others once you’re in a good place with you.

    I love you and empathize so much with the pain you experience when you’re feeling lonely. But I also want you to know that you CAN create the supportive relationships you want in your life. The fact that you’re here and reading this is proof that you’re ready to manifest that for yourself.

    Follow these 7 steps if you’re ready to stop feeling lonely:

    Feeling Lonely

    1. Schedule a date to see a friend.

    The first step is to take action. That helps stop the ongoing mindset cycle inside your head that whispers “I’m alone,” “I’m so lonely,” “I have no one.” Taking action tells those thoughts no—I create the life I want.

    You’ll definitely feel less lonely after connecting with a friend! Texts and phone calls can help you feel immediately better—but try to find time to see someone IRL, too, since it makes a big difference to be in the same space as someone.

    Friendships require your energy and attention. They do take work. Just like being a parent. I mean, even as a dog parent I have to put in a lot of energy and time into my relationship with them. You have to train your dog, and feed them, and take them for walks, and give them love and support. Why would it be any different for friendships?

    But I think a lot of us approach it the same way people do with relationships: we just… wait… like Prince Charming or Best Friend Cinderella are going to come sweep us up off our feet. Just as that rarely happens with romantic relationships, stumbling into a friendship isn’t likely. You have to seek them out.

    This is maybe the step I struggle with the most, and why this is step numero uno. It can feel really vulnerable and scary to put yourself out there to try to make a friend, especially if you’re starting from ground zero, like if you’ve just moved to a new city. But YOU CAN DO IT! Really! And it gets easier with practice.

    You have to be willing to make the first move, and that does mean potentially getting turned down. And you may go on some lousy friend dates, or make some friendships that end after a while. That’s ok. Accept and try to embrace all of that as part of the process. Never take anything personally—you’re going to have to go around and talk to a bunch of different people until you find the right path.

    I feel like lately we’re all becoming guilty of getting lazy with our friendships. Months go by between seeing each other because we’re all so busy and life gets in the way. And that’s valid, but it doesn’t help our loneliness problem.

    Humans are biologically programmed to need human interaction and community. Harvard has shown that having strong relationships helps us live longer. We need each other. So tell your friends you love them, and set up a time to see them soon!

    2. Join a community or group.

    Not sure where to find a new friend? The easiest way to meet new people is to go where the people are!

    Ask yourself what your hobbies and interests are. What are you passionate about?

    There are so many options out there! Could you register for an adult soccer league? Are you passionate about baking and could sign up for a weekly class? Do you want to join an activist group to fight climate change? Is there a local church that fits your beliefs? Would it help to join a support group?

    I’ve found that as an adult I make new friends the easiest through fitness classes (it helps that I’m the teacher lol! but also going to other classes around town). Check out MeetUp, or search for Facebook Groups in your area to find even more options to meet people who like the same things as you!

    It’s also helpful to remember that pretty much everyone wants to make more friends, but most people are shy or feel insecure just like you. Don’t be afraid to say hi and ask someone to grab a quick coffee after class, and see where it goes.

    3. Get some movement, ideally out into nature.

    This is what you do when you’re feeling lonely in the moment. Loneliness is an intense emotion and can feel like a really heavy weight in your body, a lethargy, a feeling of being bound or stuck.

    Because that emotion lives in your body, along with your mind, you’ll find it a lot easier to work through if you get moving. And this can mean any form of movement—I’m talking yoga, going for a walk, doing a dance class, kickboxing, anything! Move as little or as much as you want, for as little or as long as you can (at least 20 min is ideal but do what you can). Anything will help!

    When you move your body, a few things start to happen:

    • You get happier: a study from the University of Vermont found that just 20 minutes of exercise can boost your mood for 12 hours.
    • You feel more focused and have better mental clarity.
    • Your muscles warm and loosen, helping you feel less tense.
    • You feel more energized: according to a study from the University of Georgia, the blood flow benefits from exercise help carry oxygen and nutrients to muscles, which helps them produce more energy.
    • You’ll sleep better.
    • You reduce your stress and anxiety: Harvard Medical School has shown that aerobic exercise helps curb stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline (as long as you’re not overdoing it), while also flooding your system with feel-good endorphins. It also ups the calming, good-mood brain chemicals serotonin and dopamine.
    • And you improve your immunity and overall wellness!

    All of this helps your brain adjust to feeling better, meaning you won’t feel as sad and affected by being alone right now.

    And if you can get moving out in nature, even better! You’ll soak up even more happiness-boosting benefits. Research has shown that being outside has its own awesome mood-lifting benefits.

    Feeling Lonely

    4. Find an animal companion.

    I mean, I had to put this one in. It’s a BIG ONE. If you know, you know.

    Having a pet can really help you feel loved, purposeful, and less lonely.

    But your relationship with your animal is also very much dependent on the energy you put in to it! We all know there are plenty of people who ignore their pets.

    Getting Corgi (the corgi, yes that’s his name ha) in 2012 was a huge catalyst for a lot in my life to change. I’d had dogs growing up, but my family kept them only outside, and we barely spent any time with them. Looking back, it breaks my heart. But I was so in love with this puppy that I wanted to give him the best life possible. It’s actually even part of what made me become vegan. I’ve spent so much time training my dogs in things like Agility racing, and learning new tricks, and taking them to new hikes, and in turn we are so, so close. I can give Corgi commands just by giving him hand signals, and sometimes just a look.

    If you have the time and the love to give, having animal friends is a major way to feel less lonely. It can depend on the type of animal, and obviously I’m biased towards dogs as the best companions. Although, I’ve kept a pet spider before (a Black Widow named Gretchen, RIP), so honestly whatever pet lights you up will work! Bunnies, cats, turtles—you can bond with pretty much any animal.

    5. Journal.

    Journaling is a great way to practice self-love when you’re feeling lonely in the moment. It helps you feel more connected to yourself, and thus less alone.

    Try free-form journaling: that means you write anything and everything that’s on your mind. It doesn’t have to make any sense, or be in complete sentences, or even in neat, orderly rows in your notebook. Just write. Put words onto the paper about how you’re authentically feeling right now.

    Get it all out, and don’t hold back. You can throw away the paper when you’re done.

    If you read through it again, focus on sending yourself tons of love and compassion, as if you’re the friend you’ve just written a letter to. Writing out your thoughts will help you feel a lot better and process what you’re going through.

    A gratitude journal is also a great way to start to train your brain to feel better! This is when you write down a list of things that you have to be thankful for. It helps your mind become more focused on positivity and keep looking for opportunities (helpful when trying to find friends). And, of course, I always recommend starting a meditation and/or yoga practice to dive deeper into improved mental health. These mindfulness practices can help reprogram your thoughts over time to be more self-loving and helpful.

    6. Avoid social media.

    Sure, social media can be a helpful way to find and meet new people—but it can also very easily be a One Way ticket to Loneliness Central.

    It might be helpful to think of social media as like using a sugar substitute (like Equal or Splenda). You get the feeling of having had sugar without actually having sugar—and this ultimately triggers a response in your body to long for the real thing. You’ll leave most social media interactions (or any purely digital relationships) feeling a little bit unsatisfied, empty—it’s just not quite the same thing. Have you felt that before?

    Social media is dopamine-provoking and not necessarily designed to help you feel good! The Social Dilemma is a fantastic documentary to watch about this.

    Social media fine, but only if your online relationships do extend into real-life friendship and support. Scrolling mindlessly down your feed, however, is likely to make you feel even more isolated and alone thanks to its FOMO-triggering effects. I find it’s usually better to avoid, especially on days you’re feeling lonely.

    Feeling Lonely

    7. Find a way to be of service.

    The last way to kick loneliness to the curb is to give to others. This has multiple benefits: you’ll connect to the people you are helping, you’ll distract your brain from negative thinking, and you’ll feel so much better, too!

    When you do something to help someone else, you’re creating connection and love, which our world desperately needs more of! Plus this is another form of taking real ACTION to combat loneliness. It can help a lot to feel like you have a purpose, a role to play in the world. It gives you something to do.

    Plus, being of service means you’ll feel a greater sense of community. This can take many different forms! I ran a program at Ronald McDonald House in high school and loved it. You could volunteer at an animal shelter (win/win with #4), or join a beach cleanup meetup (see #2) if you want to help the environment and meet new people.

    When you give back, you get what what researchers call a “helpers high,” a kind of euphoria and good feeling in your body from helping (like a runner’s high). Your brain produces endorphins, which make you happier! Half of participants in one study reported that they felt stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth.

    I want to note that you are also being of service when you create, when you build something. Because everyone benefits from whatever it is you’ve created! We all win when you share your latest recipe, when you write a new song, when you open your business. Giving back doesn’t necessarily mean volunteering.

    The world benefits when you shine.

    As my yoga guru Elka once told me: You may feel lonely—but you are never alone.

    I know it may feel hard, but I want you to do one thing on this list, right now. Pick one, sign off, and go! Because every action you take to fight that feeling of loneliness helps it dissipate. Every step gets you closer to the connection we all need.

    Build a stronger relationship with someone already in your life, or start finding new people to connect with. Don’t let fear hold you back.

    We are waiting for you, and we love you. You are not alone.

    » Song Vibes «

    Have you been feeling lonely lately? Don’t suffer in silence out there—let’s connect in the Disqus Comments section below. You are not alone.

    xo,

    Amy

    Photos by Matthew Hanley, edits by me

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  • Mind

    Shortcut to Calm: A Breath-Centered Meditation Course

    Shortcut To Calm Meditation Course

    A week-long online course to learn how to FINALLY let go of stress by combining proven meditation and breath techniques!

    I want to tell you about someone…

    A friend of mine who’s a badass working woman juggling a lot, who’s stressed out of her mind and overwhelmed by the state of the world right now.

    It feels like she’s hanging on by a thread. It almost feels like if she were to stop or slow down, everything in her life would fall apart. Every day she thinks please, not one more thing because she’s energetically MAXED out and feels like she can’t handle any more bad news.

    This sure was me once.

    In 2011, I was working a television writers’ assistant in Hollywood on the hit show The Vampire Diaries, driving down Beverly Blvd screaming, pounding my steering wheel while tears poured down my face down to my high heels.

    I was having nightly panic attacks and living paycheck to paycheck in LA. I was lucky to get 5-6 hours of sleep a night thanks to my insomnia. Working in TV had been my dream, but I was miserable. There were so many pressures in my working and personal life that I felt like I was going to implode, but I put on the appearance that everything was fine.

    I was definitely burning my candle at both ends. You too?

    Stress is at an all-time high right now.

    Statistics are showing record highs in national depression, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness and hopelessness.

    Trust me when I say that I KNOW how it feels to be riding so close to burnout. And I also know how to get out of it, because that’s what I did—I devoted my life to learning about Meditation & Yoga. And now? Despite all that’s happening in the world, I know how to tap into my ability to find peace.

    That’s why I’m so passionate about this course. I wanted to combine my knowledge gained from years of struggling and studying to help YOU get back your power.

    I know 2020 has led many of you to feel afraid, stressed, and isolated. We’ve experienced massive loss and suffering. But this is also a time of transformation. Thriving during uncertain times is more than possible!

    As the old fades away, how will you step into what comes next? How do you want to show up? Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel?

    Ready to start feeling better?

    Chances are, you’ve tried meditation but thought it was boring. Maybe you feel restless and distracted when you’re doing it.

    That’s because when you’re too stressed, you can’t calm down enough to focus. You need to work on your body—your BREATH—if you want to really release that anxiety.

    Shortcut to Calm is going to teach you everything you need to know to do that.

    Here’s the truth: regular meditation is just not going to cut it for you right now.

    That’s why I’m bringing in the big guns—I’m going to teach you simple yet powerful breath techniques that are going to give you that breakthrough calm you NEED.

    The world needs you to be at your best and feel like a badass. Then, you’ll be even more empowered to help the world around you. You deserve to feel okay again!

    These meditations will help you relax just like a massage, or therapy, or a spa day. Except way easier, cheaper, and more efficiently. And without the wine hangover.

    If you’re stressed, it means you’re not breathing correctly—whether or not you’re aware of it.

    Your breath is the KEY to ideal physical and mental health. But it’s so underrated!

    We take our breath for granted and assume that it’s fine, since it’s primarily automatic.

    But most of us breathe really poorly—and this can make your anxiety worse.

    The good news is that your breath can also FIX your anxiety, too, and help you feel calm again.

    You just need how to learn correctly, which you will in this course.

    A few deep breaths can completely change your mental state and how you feel. So imagine what a full 20 minutes of intentional breathing combined with guided meditation can do!

    But you’ll barely hear about in a lot of meditations. Which is crazy because, as the course says—your Breath is a super effective shortcut to calm!

    Over my near-decade of teaching Yoga + Meditation full-time, I’ve learned some powerful techniques to use your breath to improve your meditations, and I’m sharing the best ones with you here.

    Want to learn how to ACTUALLY get a handle on your stress—for good?

    Learn how in just 1 week with 7 20-min meditation downloads that teach you powerful breath techniques in this online course!

    How It Works:

    Shortcut to Calm is an online, self-guided 7-day course that will teach you how to use your mind and body to reduce stress by controlling and deepening your breath.

    Learn how to conquer your stress and anxiety to feel good again. It takes hardly any effort or time.

    Get back into a consistent meditation routine, or learn how to start—Beginners highly encouraged!

    You’ll learn all about The Basics of Meditation, then experience daily 20 minute guided meditation sessions (led by me, Amy!) with seven different calming breath techniques. The exercises come from a mix of meditation, physical therapy, yoga pranayama, and modern breathwork traditions.

    These meditations are even more relaxing than your nightly glass(es) of wine. In just 20 minutes a day for a week, you’ll go from feeling stressed AF to totally in control.

    And improving your breath will change your entire physical wellbeing.

    In just 20 minutes a day, you will:

    • increase calmness
    • improve breathing
    • create mind-body connection
    • reduce anxiety and depression
    • increase physical relaxation and mobility
    • improve sleep
    • reduce high blood pressure
    • improve psychological balance
    • aid in coping with pain or illness
    • relieve symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome
    • enhance overall health and well-being.

    I encourage you to commit to doing the full week to help you really cement in this new habit. You’ll get the downloads to keep and use any time, so you can return to the practices again and again.

    You’ll also get an accompanying e-book, videos, and lessons from me!

    The course also comes with some super special BONUSES.

    Here’s what you get:

    • 7 different 20 minute Guided Meditation downloadable audio files, each focusing on a different breath-centered technique
    • Introductory video explaining everything you need to know about how to meditate
    • 7-page E-Book download pdf guide on The Basics of Meditation
    • BONUS #1: Active Guided Meditation downloadable audio file (for when you’re walking/traveling/washing dishes)
    • BONUS #2: Covid-Centered Meditation video
    • Videos and lessons from me to anchor you in each day’s practice before you begin
    • Access to me to answer any questions and help you on your journey!
    • Lifetime Access to the course and its contents (go at your own pace)

    all for only $177!

    …And this course is valued at over $500!

    It’s a no-brainer investment to make on your health, and less expensive than a single massage. The results will last a lot longer, too.

    And just for reading this closely, here’s a special present: get an additional 10% off your purchase with the special coupon code iesquad10.

    What People Are Saying:

    Here’s some of the real feedback and testimonials from people who have taken the course!

    “I absolutely love this course for beginners who have always been curious about meditation but weren’t sure where to start. Amy breaks it down in a completely approachable way, and guides you through the entire process so that it never feels overwhelming. I also like that the whole practice can be done in 20 minutes, so there’s always an opportunity to make time during the day. Highly recommend this course!” – Kate McLellan

     

     

    I am so excited to dive into this journey with you!

    This is my first online course, and just the first of many more to come. I look forward to guiding you through this life-changing week.

    You deserve to feel supported and empowered. You deserve to feel calm again. And I’m here to help guide you on your path.

    (Remember to breathe.)

    Have any questions about the course? Reach out to me in the Disqus Comments section below!

    xo,

    Amy

    Terms: This course is non-refundable and never expires.

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  • Mind

    What Is EFT Tapping? Inside the powerful mental health tool

    EFT Tapping

    Tapping, aka Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), combines psychotherapy with your body’s acupressure points for better mental health.

    A therapist first introduced me to tapping back in 2014. I was new to my self-development journey, was finally confronting my lifelong anxiety, and was in tons of pain from a recent surgery gone wrong.

    My therapist taught me about Emotional Freedom Technique, aka EFT, aka tapping, and walked me through a session while I sat on her couch. It brought up a lot of emotions for me, but afterwards I felt calm and in control.

    I’ve kind of fallen back into a renewed love affair with tapping this year after falling out of it. I needed something to get me through the mental slog that is 2020. And man, EFT is powerful and works.

    I always feel a shift in my state when I do it; I feel like I can break out of my negative thought patterns more quickly and move into a higher vibration of feeling my best. Like pretty much anything, the experience gets better the more often you practice it!

    If ever there was a time to practice a new stress relief technique, it’s now!

    Stress is becoming more and more amplified, especially right now in the U.S. in 2020 during a pandemic. As I write this, I’m visiting Washington state, and the sky is finally blue again after 2 straight weeks of thick smoky-gray air from the west coast wildfires. It was undeniably bleak, and I’m so grateful for clean air again.

    I truly believe we’re approaching a national mental health crisis. If you have been feeling extra anxious, lonely, depressed, or just unmotivated, you’re not alone.

    But there are ways you can fight back and stay strong both physically and mentally! I use a variety of mental health tools (explore the Mind section of the blog) to stay on track. Most helpful to me are meditation, a gratitude journal, and tapping.

    EFT Tapping

    What is tapping?

    EFT/tapping was developed through the 1980s by acupuncturists, and was mainly popularized by Gary Craig, who published The EFT Manual in the late 1990s (the current edition is written by student Dawson Church). Here’s a description of the technique from his website:

    EFT combines the physical benefits of acupuncture with the cognitive benefits of conventional therapy for a much faster, more complete treatment of emotional issues, and the physical and performance issues that often result.

    We use a simple two pronged process wherein we (1) mentally “tune in” to specific issues while (2) stimulating certain meridian points on the body by tapping on them with our fingertips. Properly done, EFT appears to balance disturbances in the meridian system and thus often reduces the conventional therapy procedures from months or years down to minutes or hours.

    The basic Tapping process is easy to learn, can be done anywhere, and can be used to provide impressive do-it-yourself results.

    Tapping is based around Chinese energy meridians in your body used in the acupuncture, acupressure, and other healing modalities. In EFT, you apply acupressure-like stimulation to those key points by tapping on them with your fingertips.

    How do you do it?

    I’ve seen a variety of differing methods, and I think in the end they all accomplish the same goal. But here’s the technique developed by Gary Craig:

    The main goal is to focus on whatever issue is most on your mind, and work through it. While focusing on your negative emotion, you use two or more fingertips on each hand to tap roughly 5-7 times each on nine of the body’s meridian points.

    Two things before we begin: 1) Please wash your hands before you do this, since you’ll be touching your face. and 2) You’ll need to take your glasses off, so scroll down for a video you can listen along to if you can’t read!

    Tap in this order:

    • karate chop edge (pinky side) of one of your hands (doesn’t matter which, I like to stick with my dominant right side)
    • top of your head
    • the beginning of your eyebrows (in the center of your forehead)
    • temples (both sides of your head next to your eyebrow ends)
    • under the eyes
    • under the nose
    • chin
    • sternum (where the sternum, collarbone and first rib meet)
    • under one of your armpits

    Start by identifying what you are feeling. Name the emotion/thought and give it a number from 1-10 (10=worst).

    Begin by tapping the karate chop point and repeating 3 times: “Even though I have this (emotion or thought), I love and accept myself completely.”

    Use a light pressure, like as if you were tapping someone in a concert crowd to let you pass through. Keep talking and tapping, moving through the sequence of your body as many times as you want.

    You can talk about anything—say how you feel honestly, out loud. Make sure you breathe deeply. You can do it for as long or little time as you need.

    End the final tapping flow on the karate chop point again, with positive affirmations. Say, “Even though I feel X, I am Y or I am doing Z.” In this case, Y=badass compliments about yourself. Find a way to turn your problem into positive action.

    At the end of your tapping session, reassess how you feel. Rate your emotion or thought again on a scale from 1-10 and notice if that helped bring it down.

    EFT Tapping

    What if you’re skeptical?

    There haven’t been many studies done on tapping, but a 2019 NIH review of the studies on EFT’s benefits found that it can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and pain. Sign me up!

    Talking through our issues out loud can help us work through what’s going on in our minds/emotionally. Activating your body through touch is a strong way to heal. And we know that our bodies have energy points. So in combining all of those, tapping has some strong benefits.

    I do a tapping session every day—it can take as long or as little as you have, even just five minutes. It always makes me feel better and more aligned.

    It won’t work for everyone, just like any method. You have to be committed and present and willing to give it a shot. But when you do, it’s awesome and had led many people to powerful breakthroughs.

    Want to learn more about tapping?

    Be sure to check out these books: The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner and The Science Behind Tapping by Peta Stapleton, Ph.D.

    My personal favorite tapping teacher is Gala Darling. I read her book Radical Self-Love earlier this year (highly recommend!) and then began watching her tapping videos on YouTube and Instagram. She teaches a slightly different technique than what I mapped out above, but it’s the same results.

    Gala brings a dash of badass and sass to her tapping sessions and I really dig her vibe. I think you will, too. Check her out:

    » Song Vibes «

    Have you tried tapping? I’d love to hear about your experience in the Disqus Comments section below!

    xo,

    Amy

    This post contains affiliate links. I truly love these products and know you will, too. Thanks for supporting the blog!

    Photos by Matthew Hanley, edits by me

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  • Mind

    Got Pain or Anxiety? Try Noise-Canceling Headphones

    Headphones Anxiety

    This just in: Noise-canceling headphones aren’t just a fun accessory—they’re actually an amazing mental health tool.

    I use noise-canceling headphones all the time and have noticed they have a major impact on my mental state. Regular headphones don’t hit the same way, and there’s a reason. Noise-canceling headphones reduce both anxiety and pain.

    That deserves some talking about.

    My love affair with headphones goes way back. Keep reading, because I share the best noise-canceling headphones below!

    I’m obsessed with music. I’m not personally musically talented, but I will listen to it and dance all day, every day. As a full-time fitness instructor, I constantly create new playlists for my classes.

    So a few years ago, I wanted to be able to focus easier while memorizing the drops for my spin classes, so I upgraded to the noise-canceling headphones world and bought myself a pair of rose gold Beats.

    As soon as I put on my new headphones it was love at first beat.

    Like, woah. The noise-canceling aspect makes such a big difference in how you experience the music. It was definitely an upgrade—and not just because I could hear the music in more detail.

    I felt different.

    I noticed quickly that I have much less anxiety and pain when I use my noise-canceling headphones. They help me focus and tune out the rest of the world easier, especially in high-stress situations like the airport.

    Because the headphones reduce the amount of stimulation you’re experiencing, you feel like you’re in your own little musical pod.

    (If you’re an empath, this is super useful to block out the energies around you.)

    Turns out, what I experienced personally has also been proven scientifically!

    Listening to music with noise-canceling headphones has been proven to reduce pain and anxiety.

    Headphones Anxiety

    Yes, the noise-canceling part is important.

    This study from the National Center for Biotechnology Information examined subjects’ pain and anxiety levels while receiving electrical shocks. It measured listening to music from regular headphones, noise-canceling headphones, or just a speaker somewhere else.

    And guess what? The results showed significant differences between the ones who used noise-canceling headphones and everyone else, with a bigger reduction in reported anxiety and pain.

    It’s helpful to listen to mood-boosting music either way, but using noise-canceling headphones is specifically effective.

    Loud construction going on outside? Roommate getting on your nerves? Crying baby in the DMV?

    Noise-cancelling headphones come to the rescue every time.

    Tuning out the rest of the world helps you tune in to yourself. It lets your brain feel that you have the space and safety to calm down. It’s a powerful mindfulness assist.

    Everything you experience is a dual effort on the part of your Mind and your Body. They’re always working together, as one. If your brain experiences too much stress, your pain will definitely get worse.

    On the other hand, if you can calm down both your Mind + Body, you’ll turn on your body’s parasympathic nervous system. That’s the opposite of your Fight or Flight reaction; it’s when your body repairs and recovers.

    This is how you heal.

    Of course, what you listen to matters, too.

    I think it’s safe to say your anxiety isn’t going anywhere if you start blasting death metal music. Or, maybe death metal is really your thing, in which case it helps! We’ll all prefer different sounds.

    What I ask is that you be mindful of how what you’re listening to is making you feel. If it’s not helping, you need to change to something that will.

    Ideally, to reduce pain and anxiety and shift your body into a state of healing, you’ll want to listen to calm, soothing music, positive mantras or affirmations (I love this album by Beautiful Chorus), guided meditations, ASMR, or even calming audiobooks.

    Keep in mind that your favorite up-tempo songs, though positive, may be too stimulating. You want to go for a spa-like vibe.

    Be sure to read the rest of these tips to help reduce your anxiety (and, as a result, your pain)!

    Headphones Anxiety

    Here are my top noise-canceling headphone recommendations:

    • Apple AirPods Pro
      • These are currently my #1 choice, because the noise-canceling feature works even when you’re not playing any sounds through these; they can act as a sort of earplug. You can also turn the noise-canceling off for safety, like when you’re walking through traffic, or when you need to be able to hear your kids.

    The noise-canceling feature (which is only on the Pro model) is incredible. I like that I can wear them while I do my hair etc when I get ready in the morning without bumping around my bulkier headphones.

    • Beats by Dre
      • Obviously, I am in love with mine! They’ve held up incredibly well over time, and the sound quality is worth the cost. The ear cushions on mine did start to kind of fall apart by year 3 (with constant, daily use, mind). But I found these incredible replacement pads, and now my headphones are as good as new! I use this case to transport them safely, since they don’t come with one.
    • Sony Headphones
      • These are what I would buy if I needed another pair. They boast music industry-standard sound quality and awesome reviews! I haven’t tested them personally, but they come highly recommended.
    • Mpow Headphones
      • Coming in for a steal of $40, these are the best budget option I could find for you, with outstanding reviews. Most of these noise-canceling headphones are at a notably high price point, but these will deliver the same benefits, for less!

    I hope this helps you remember that you CAN feel better—and sometimes all it takes is pressing play.

    » Song Vibes «

    Have you noticed that using noise-canceling headphones helps when you have anxiety or pain? I’d love to hear your experiences in the Comments below!

    xo,

    Amy

    This post is not sponsored, but it does contain affiliate links. I truly love these products and know you will, too. Thanks for supporting the blog!

    Photos by Matthew Hanley, edits by me

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  • Mind

    5 Ways To Help An Anxiety Attack

    Having a panic or anxiety attack is a horrible experience.

    When I was in my younger 20s, I was working in television as a writer’s assistant. It was this “glamorous” world, and I was working my way up to become a staffed writer. My USC film professors called me a success story. I was living my dream. But I was also having an anxiety attack almost every single night.

    I would rock back and forth, curled a fetal position, something between a scream and a sob pouring out of me for hours. So overcome with stress and pain and misery that I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe. I could do nothing but wail.

    I didn’t know how to relieve my anxiety attacks back then. Instead, I suffered through until I exhausted myself and fell into a restless sleep. It doesn’t have to be that way for you. You can take action to help yourself through this, and these tools will help.

    My anxiety and an injury led me to eventually quit the TV industry. I decided to learn how to heal myself, became a yoga and meditation teacher, and started this blog to teach others how to heal. Anxiety doesn’t just terrorize your mind—your body absorbs and stores the tension as well, leading to eventual injury and illness.

    You don’t need its poison in your life!

    There are steps you can take to relieve and come down from an anxiety attack.

    These tools will help you relax and come out of the attack more quickly. I first want to preface that I am not a doctor, and you want a mental health professional on your side to help you recover from anxiety. Also, anxiety attacks are technically different from panic attacks, but these tools apply to both. Don’t worry—anxiety is a complex issue, but one that can go away. I’m proof of that.

    I’ve battled anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. In the days of my frequent anxiety attacks, I tried anti-anxiety prescription medications and began therapy. But I needed more—that’s when I dove deeper into my yoga practice and began exploring meditation.

    These days, I definitely still feel like I vibrate at the rate of a hummingbird and anxiety comes easily—but I also have the tools to fight it off. Now I don’t need any medication, which I once thought was impossible.

    My point is: You don’t have to suffer! Get the best treatment possible by healing your anxiety in multiple ways. It’s not a punishment—it’s an invitation for you to heal. Get curious about yourself and most importantly love yourself through this healing journey.

    You don’t need to worry any more.

    Try these five tricks to help you relieve your next anxiety attack.

    By the way—share this post with your family/significant other/friends, and have them read it so they know what to do to help you during your next attack. I could barely think when I was having one, let alone tell my now-ex what to do to help me. And it sucks for them to feel powerless. I promise it will help both of you to have tangible things to do to take back control over the attack.

    1 » Ice

    I learned this technique from my friend Edie Stark, who’s a therapist. And it’s brilliant. When you’re having an anxiety attack, get a piece of ice and hold it in your hand. Let it melt there. When you can’t stand it anymore in that hand, move it to the other, and repeat.

    It might not sound pleasant, and that’s kind of the point. The discomfort helps direct your brain back into focusing on REAL discomfort rather than discomfort made up in your mind.

    That’s basically what anxiety is—worrying about things that might happen. Made up dragons.

    But the coldness of the ice is real. It will help your brain pathways fire correctly and ground you back into this moment. And anxiety cannot exist when you’re in the present moment.

    2 » Get Cozy

    This is another extension of using touch to help ground you. Instead of using the tiny shock of ice, you nurture yourself with something comforting. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket, put on a fluffy sweater, or try taking a warm bath. One of my favorite things is this MagicWrap I’m wearing, which is basically a blanket and sweater in one. Like, a blanket with sleeves. Genius, actually. It’s like wearing a hug.

    Btw—They gave me this wrap for free and also an awesome promo code if you want to buy one. Use the code EMBERS for 10% off (I don’t get a kickback, just think you’ll love). Such a good gift idea too. I can’t begin to explain how soft it is.

    The goal here is to encourage your body to feel soft and loose again. To relax and let go. Anxiety makes your body stiff and tightened, so this will help reverse that and get your flight-or-fight stress response turned off.

    3 » CBD

    CBD, which stands for stands for cannabidiol, is magic. It’s a compound made from hemp plants without the THC, which is what’s in weed that makes you high. So no, CBD isn’t weed, and it won’t get you high, and it’s legal!

    I wrote all about it in this post here.

    I take a few drops of this cold-pressed CBD extract from LEEF and feel a light sense of calm within the hour. It’s like nature’s anti-anxiety medicine.

    4 » Meditation

    This is for a little later after you’ve already started to come down from your anxiety attack—you won’t be able to meditate when you’re in it. Your brain just won’t be in the right state. But this is a great way to stop the panic before it really sets in, and as a way to prevent future attacks.

    Meditation is the ultimate anxiety blocker. Like I said above, anxiety pulls us out of the present moment. The way to defeat it is to return. And that’s what meditation is: mindfully tuning ourselves into this present moment. Not thinking about the future, or past, or adding commentary to whatever’s happening right now. Just being.

    Learn all about how to meditate here. I teach private, group, and corporate meditations around the globe—you can learn about working with me if you want guidance on how to really do this practice. You also can try apps (here are my favorites), but meditation is always best practiced with a teacher who can answer your questions, serve as a personal guide, and deepen your journey into the mind.

    5 » Soothing Music

    Listening to music can have a powerful effect on your energy. Creating a calm environment will help you come down from your anxiety attack more quickly, and music can really help.

    Of course, what you listen to matters most. You want to turn off your stress response and get into a rest and restore zone by listening to calm, soothing songs. Search for a playlist of spa music, or here’s one that I use for teaching meditation. You could also create your own playlist of your favorite songs that lift your spirit to have ready to play the next time you’re panicking.

    Lately I’ve been soothing myself by beginning my mornings listening to the group Beautiful Chorus. They have some incredible sung mantras—I’ve shared one of my favorites below. I dare you to not relax when you listen to it.

    Most importantly, hang in there. You can do this. You are the boss of your anxiety—not the other way around.

    » Song Vibes «

    What helps you when you have an anxiety/panic attack? Let me know in the Comments below!

    xo,

    Amy

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