Mind

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Mind
The Best 3 Meditation Apps To Help You Learn Mindfulness
- September 25, 2017
- 0 comments
- by Amy
If you want to learn how to meditate, using meditation apps is a great, easy way to do it.
For the longest time, I thought meditation was this hard, complicated secret skill. If only I’d known about these meditation apps.
I didn’t want to even try meditating because it just seemed like so much work. Does that resonate? The stereotype about meditation is this cross-legged devout yogi type sitting up perfectly straight on a cushion thinking of nothing at all, totally at peace because of their achieved enlightenment. (SEE ABOVE PHOTO haha)
Meanwhile I was restless and anxious, so meditation was something I assumed I’d frankly never do.
A few years ago, when I suffered near-nightly panic attacks, my doctor kindly suggested I look into meditation. I needed some major stress relief and I wasn’t managing it beyond a cabinet full of Ativan and Klonopin.
At that point in time, I was completely disconnected from my body. I didn’t know what “mindfulness” was. So I bought a book on meditating that had this whole long chapter about breathing and I got so bored I stopped reading.
It wasn’t until I became serious about a yoga practice a couple years later and became reintroduced to meditation that I finally had a realization:
Meditating is actually super simple.
Like, it’s so simple it’s kind of a joke. I didn’t really need an entire book explaining the process of meditating to get it. I just needed to do it.
Seriously – the best way to understand meditating is to try it.
What exactly is meditating, then?
Meditation is essentially a mental exercise. You need to work out the mind just like you do your body. So when you meditate, you’re training your brain to be present, which is what’s also called “mindfulness.”
The goal of meditating is to ignore any outside distractions so that you can focus in on/begin to control your thoughts and just exist in this present moment. This is why it’s helpful to close your eyes—and why I, personally, find it easiest to meditate when lying down. It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, by the way—just choose one that’s comfortable.
Once you’re settled, you begin by just letting your brain do its thing. The point is NOT, I repeat NOT!, about trying to “clear your mind.” That would be essentially impossible to just jump in and do.
The point is simply to notice what types of thoughts you have. The magic happens when you become aware of your own thoughts. That separation is KEY.
Because then you’re able to realize a few things:
- You are not your thoughts.
- Your thoughts are not necessarily true.
- Your thoughts can be controlled.
- You can choose to think and believe whatever you’d like.
- You find peace when you separate yourself from your thoughts so much that you stop paying attention to them – and they might even fall silent for a bit.
That last step, when you find yourself existing in the moment without thinking about anything else, is the sweet zone. You might only be there for a half a second at a time at first, but it will get longer with practice. Meditating will help you really feel calm, clear, and totally connected. It’s like taking a turbo nap.
Meditating regularly can literally change the shape of your brain, helping you to have less anxiety and stress. In fact, a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that 90% of people with clinical levels of anxiety experience significant reductions in anxiety when they meditate. It’s kind of magical, actually.
Meditating, by the way, has nothing to do with religion. Certain religions might incorporate meditation into their practices, but it can absolutely be done by anyone. It’s just listening to your own mind, after all. Think of it as simply tuning into (and improving) the radio station of YOU.
If you want to learn more of the Basics of Meditation so you can start meditating today, be sure to Download my FREE E-Book all about it!
After trying tons of meditation apps, these 3 are my favorites:
None of this post is sponsored, btw – these are just the meditation apps I personally have used and loved!
And if my explanation above still has you confused about meditation, don’t worry. The benefit to using meditation apps is that you have a teacher there to guide you through what it is and how to do it. They’ll all break it down further and will coach you through your meditation by reminding you to focus in on things happening in the present moment (like your breathing) and how to notice when your mind wanders.
The best part? All these meditation apps offer sessions at any length of time you want, for as little as 1 minute. You don’t need a ton of time, money, or even a meditation cushion to get started. You just need to open your phone’s App Store.
I prefer to meditate mid-day when I need to get a boost of focused energy, but you might also find it a really nice way to help you fall asleep! Just remember to meditate whenever, wherever, and however you can, as often as you can (but ideally daily). And keep at it. You really will get more out of it the more consistently you practice!
1 » Headspace
Headspace is one of the most popular meditation apps available, and I really think it’s due to how approachable they make meditation. There’s no sign of anything potentially “woo-woo” here. Using clean, modern, and spunky branding, Headspace by far does the best job of bringing meditation to the people. It’s probably the most popular of these three meditation apps, and my husband’s favorite.
Headspace offers an enormous library of meditations available through their Subscription option – prices range from $94.99 for a one year subscription to $399.99 for lifetime access (it’s free to download from the Apple App store – or click here for Android users).
But they also offer their Basics course for FREE and it’s amazing, especially if you’re brand-new to meditating. It includes 10 sessions, each 10 min long, and they use short videos with quirky animations to help explain how to meditate in a super easy-to-understand fashion.
Many of the meditations are voiced by Headspace creator Andy Puddicombe, who has the most ear-pleasing British accent. I know so many people who credit Headspace with helping them develop a meditation practice – it’s a must.
2 » Buddhify
I found this little gem after I’d exhausted all the free options from all the meditation apps I could find (a girl’s been broke, okay?). I wanted access to a large library of no-frills guided meditations that were varying lengths. And Buddhify provided everything I wanted for only £4.99 in the Apple Apps store, which is $6.73! Even better – Android users can get it for only $2.99. I mean what!
Buddhify contains over 80 unique guided meditations that cover all sorts of subject matter from how to bring kindness into your work life (“Network”) when you just want to strangle your coworker to finding peace while on a plane (“Flight”) to just standard meditations. They’re each led by one of the six voices of the Buddhify team, and each one has a unique but equally pleasant tone.
I love that I can do specifically tailored meditations on days when something in particular is weighing on my mind. You can even do a meditation while taking a walk – proving that meditation can be part of your life effortlessly.
3 » Breethe (formerly called OMG! I Can Meditate)
Breethe used to be called OMG! I Can Meditate, and is one of the first meditation apps I ever tried. Breethe has a really comforting, nurturing vibe to it, which I love. So it’s slightly more touchy-feely than the other apps, but getting in touch with your emotions, and how your thoughts affect those emotions, is a huge part of meditation. This is definitely my go-to when I’ve had a bad day.
Breethe offers hundreds of meditations through their Subscription option – prices range from $12.99/month to a lifetime membership for $399 (which I’ve frequently seen on sale for around $120!). It’s free to download in the Apple App store (or here for Android users).
This meditation app by far offers the largest variety of content, with meditations ranging from the super basic to themed ones focusing on attracting abundance, finding love, and losing weight. Breethe also has a FREE beginner series like Headspace called “Learn To Meditate”. It includes 7 meditations, from 12-14 min long. Plus there are always a few free meditations from the subscription option available to try!
Breethe is voiced by Lynne Goldberg, the creator. I find her voice to be super soothing, especially when I use meditation to help me unwind after a hard day or to help me fall asleep. My husband found her voice to be distracting, though. It really does affect your experience if you find a certain voice pleasant to listen to or not, so I recommend trying out a few different options at first and going with whatever works best for you!
If you want to learn more, be sure to sign up for my Shortcut To Calm Mediation online course—you’ll get a bundle of 7 different guided meditation downloads from me, plus so much more! Learn more here.
Do you use any meditation apps? Which ones are your favorites? Let me know in the Comments below!
xo,
Amy
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Mind
How to Become Confident
- September 18, 2017
- 0 comments
- by Amy
You are naturally confident.
“What? No I’m not,” you might be thinking. I know, I get it – I used to think I was not naturally confident, either. I was horribly insecure and self-critical and just generally like a freaking nervous wreck when it came to interacting with other people.
But here’s the thing:
Your natural state is one of confidence. All the insecurities that hold you back are actually just limiting thought patterns you developed somewhere along the road of your life.
They’re not really part of you. And they’re total bullshit.
I became less confident as I grew up and it stuck with me. But I started out confident, just like every other child – lack of confidence is something you learn, not something you are.
Now, sure, some of us aren’t exactly set up for success, genetics-wise; certain personalities are more susceptible to the negative thought patterns that dim our confidence way down. Depression, anxiety, and insecurity are in a squad and love to tarnish your self-image. The way you were raised and the experiences you have also affect your confidence.
But I have good news for ya:
It’s super easy to get your confidence back.
I’m not going to lie to you, though. It takes work. It takes dedication. And it takes time. But it’s totally something you’re capable of handling, so don’t sweat it (see Step 1).
» Leggings: Alo Yoga (an affiliate link) «
I was actually pretty confident through most of my childhood. I was wildly energetic, opinionated, and self-assured.
But right around 3rd grade my confidence foundation began to shift. I got my first set of braces and a bright pink pair of coke bottle glasses, and I began to notice that I didn’t wear “cool” clothes. I felt like a total loser.
As I got older, my confidence slipped further and further away from me. There were certain moments where I could feel it again – when I was in my element, like when I was writing, or when I’d nail a workout. But I kept falling back into that “I suck” mindset.
My lack of confidence was really holding me back.
Teaching fitness is actually what helped me find my confidence the most. To this day I still don’t know what possessed me to audition to teach barre back in the fall of 2012. I still don’t know why I was picked to train to teach. I still don’t know how I got over my fears of being judged and criticized. But I wanted to teach so badly that I just did it.
During the first official class I ever taught, I was so nervous I stumbled and fell flat on my ass on the floor.
Guys. I fucking fell.
In front of all my clients.
During my first class.
Truthfully, it was perfect – it was exactly what I needed to get over myself. I was beyond mortified but I had to keep teaching. I’m crazy dedicated to my work. And it was my job to work those clients out, whether they just saw me humiliate myself or not. So I just kept the class going. I brushed it off and immediately continued, shaking slightly but still in charge.
And I saw that it wasn’t the end of the world. Like, no one pointed and laughed or told me I was stupid when I fell. Honestly, it was in LA, so they probably didn’t even really notice because they were too focused on looking good in the mirror.
Teaching others ended up teaching me.
I know it’s corny, but it’s true. It’s how I finally became confident.
Over the course of teaching for over 5 years and counting, I’ve had endless experiences like that that have forced me way outside of my comfort zone. I’d say that about a year ago was when it all really clicked for me. Everything I’d learned settled into clarity and I realized something:
We can LEARN how to be confident.
It just takes a little practice to develop a new habit, and confidence is a habit of the mind. Having confidence means your mind defaults to knowing your inherent worthiness. You don’t need to be validated by anyone or anything.
These are the practices that helped me find my own confidence.
I promise life’s a lot better when you’re on your own side. Get ready to make life way more fun.
Step 1 » Don’t be so dramatic about it.
First of all, the more you obsess about your (lack of) confidence, the less confident you feel. The thing about confidence is that it’s relaxed. Cool. Chill. Easy breezy.
You can’t be simultaneously anxious and confident. In fact, anxiety can be triggered by or linked to a lack of confidence. So before you can be confident you must first get to a more Zen state and RELAX. Be the opposite of anxious.
How? Breathe deeply. Close your eyes. Take a quiet moment by yourself in the bathroom. Smell lavender essential oils. Pour yourself a bath. Do whatever you need to feel calm.
Step 2 » Develop a “fuck it” mantra.
My personal lack of confidence stemmed from worrying about what others thought of me. I have some deep-seated trust issues, so I convinced myself regularly that everyone hated me.
When I first started teaching, I’d obsesses afterwards over how I thought I did, worrying over every tiny mistake I may have made and whether or not the clients would write a bad review about me. It made me sick I was so stressed out.
I finally just got tired of caring so much. Like, exhausted in my bones.
It really doesn’t matter what other people think. So what if they don’t like me? If I’m having fun and being myself, it doesn’t affect me!
I want you to practice adopting this same attitude. No matter what happens, you can brush it off. Other people rarely care as much as you think, because they’re too busy being concerned about their own lives, or they’re miserable and projecting their own shit onto everyone else. It just doesn’t make sense to let outside opinions (or the voice in your own head) affect you. I mean, there are people out there who don’t like Oprah. You definitely can’t live to make other people happy.
All you can do is aim to be YOU, 100%, and don’t compare yourself to anyone.
Before every one of my classes now, I tell myself “Fuck it.” Like it’s a mantra. Like it’s everything. Because my only concern is loving and living my life. And that means choosing to feel good about myself. So choose to know you’re the shit.
Step 3 » Fake it till you make it.
The trick I learned to getting over my fear of having everyone’s eyes on me while I taught was to create a kind of character for myself. I would essentially act my way through class. I was playing the role of Cool Confident Instructor, and it was way easier to be her than me. Because she was just like me, except she could stand tall and speak authoritatively and do hair flips on a spin bike.
This is where the practice part of building up your confidence really comes in. It will feel really forced at first, but smile and look others in the eyes and keep reminding yourself that you’re confident, and you eventually will be.
I want to clarify that you’re not supposed to be fake or act like someone other than who you really are. Rather, I want you to act MORE like you really are and be confident about it, especially when it comes to things you’re insecure about. Be more authentically you, and be unafraid about it.
Step 4 » Bring out the thought police.
You’re going to fall back to your old thought patterns. Confidence likely won’t come easy at first, but it does come if you’re patient. Faking it till you make it will be uncomfortable, which will give your brain plenty of fuel to repeat its old negative habit of bringing you down.
Don’t let it.
You’re now in charge of monitoring your own mind. So set up some thought police stations in your head and get ready to work. Any time you feel insecure, imagine a little siren going off and all the police have to come out to block the thought from continuing down its path. When you catch the perp, remind your brain to continue on acting confident. Order restored, at last.
Meditation is the best tool to learn to become more mindful of your thoughts and how you can change them!
Step 5 » Check your posture.
I’ll take any opportunity I can to talk about how your mind and body are linked. Sooooo…
What’s your body doing right now?
There is a very specific body language associated with confidence and another entirely different one associated with insecurity. A confident person stands tall and proud. An insecure person slouches and curls into themselves and tries to make himself smaller.
Think Mufasa and Scar. Yes, from The Lion King. I’m serious! Mufasa is drawn to hold his head up and stand broadly. Scar is drawn with his head hanging low, and he kind of slinks along as he walks because he’s a weak-ass motherfucker who kills his brother. I don’t know why I chose lions to illustrate how humans stand but I know you know what I’m talking about.
Sit straight. Stand tall. Look up.
Again, this won’t feel super effortless at first, but practice often enough and it will become your new way of holding yourself. Your body doesn’t know that you’re “faking”, and will start to produce chemicals in your brain that help reinforce your strong posture. It’s like the ultimate bio hack! You can also make yourself happier just by smiling. Your brain thinks it missed a memo and rushes to adjust your brain chemistry to match.
Plus with great posture you’ll have a healthier and stronger body, which helps you feel even more confident, so it’s really a win-win!
Step 6 » Live your awesome life.
It’s way easier to be confident when you’re happy. So do what fills you with joy. Make friends with people who support and adore you. Take pride in the work you do and the ways you contribute and help others. Be kind to others. Spread love and positivity.
Do what you’re good at, and repeat often, so you can continually see what a Badass you actually are. Praise yourself for even your smallest accomplishments and truly celebrate your wins!
And if you’re still stuck feeling unconfident, my final piece of advice is to get out of your own mind. Switch your focus from inward to something outside of yourself. Help someone in need. Take a walk and admire nature’s beauty. Watch a movie that makes you laugh.
Basically, fill your life with endless reasons to be confident because you acknowledge your blessings. Having an attitude of gratitude (and keeping a gratitude journal) about all the good things in your life also helps you become more secure in what really matters. Taking the focus off yourself will help you relax, making the whole confidence thing way easier.
Step 7 » Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
Your mind is just like any other muscle that can be trained, but it requires commitment and patience. So don’t give up. Stay confident that you’ll become confident!
Trust me, you have every reason to be confident. You just have to slowly turn down the noise in your head that tries to say otherwise.
» Song Vibes «
Want even more help? I made this playlist to boost your confidence—guaranteed to pump you up about your awesome self!
What helps you feel more confident? Share in the Comments below!
xo,
Amy
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Mind
5 Tips to Survive Moving to a New City
- September 10, 2017
- 0 comments
- by Amy
Moving to a new city is a pretty crazy adventure.
I’m not going to lie – it can be really hard. I just moved from San Diego to Honolulu in April, so if you’re moving to a new city soon too (or just did), know that I’m going through the struggle right there with you. Some days I convince myself I’m done and start looking up prices for a one-way ticket back. And some days I lie when my friends call and I tell them it’s going GREAT!!! when in reality it’s 3pm and I’m still in my pajamas and my eyes are nearly swollen shut from crying because I’m lonely.
(Aren’t you happy you started reading this incredibly uplifting post? Don’t worry – I’m getting there!)
I hesitate to tell you that I’m married to a man in the military, not because I’m not incredibly proud and supportive of his career, but because I’m not the stereotypical “military wife”. I very much had my own life and career in television in LA chugging along quite nicely when I met my husband through a mutual friend. At first I declared he and I would only ever be friends (ah, but you can’t fight love) because I wasn’t really down with constantly packing up my life and moving, and, oh, you know, frequently spending months apart, sometimes without any contact while your loved one is in real mortal danger.
But like I said, you can’t fight love.
In 2013 my husband got stationed in San Diego, and I desperately wanted a career change and had just developed a chronic neck injury that demanded I take time off to heal. So I left LA to join him in a new home with no plans and no friends. Moving to San Diego ended up being the best possible thing for me. My life completely changed for the better. I got healthy and happy, it’s where I became a fitness instructor, and it’s where I dreamed up this blog.
After our three wonderful years there, however, the Navy moved us again – this time to Hawaii.
OMG I KNOW. How HORRIBLE. How could I possibly stand the utter nightmare of moving to a paradise where people from across the world travel to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime vacation???
And yes – it can be AMAZING. It’s so beautiful and magical and I adore the beauty of nature out here. It’s so peaceful and yet there’s an unmistakable power (mana, as it’s called in Hawaiian) to the island at the same time.
But, like, this is real life, and I can’t always be out enjoying the beautiful scenery. I WISH I were living in that kind of Instagram dreamland. Spending all day every day at the beach doing yoga and drinking coconuts… Sign me up!
BUT sadly I have to work and make money and connect with other humans occasionally to protect my sanity.
And as far as all that’s concerned… it’s been a struggle. I’m going through many of the hardships I encountered when I first moved to San Diego, and it’s been making me think about moving in general.
Moving to a new city is one of the hardest things we can go through. It’s up there with death and broken relationships, because it creates a similar type of environment. You don’t have your support system with you any longer, so you can feel isolated. You’re also having to start over. All your old routines are no longer effective or applicable. You’re in a new house, a new job, possibly even in a new type of culture. It’s one of those moments where your life gets turned upside down and shaken out and then thrown around and stomped on a bit and set on fire.
You’ve got to start over.
» Leggings: Alo Yoga «
So, how do you survive moving to a new city? Tip #1 is more of a challenge, really:
1 » Embrace Your Fresh Start.
Do ya hear that? It’s your new life calling.
But really – how many times do we find ourselves longing to wipe the slate clean? You’re getting the opportunity so many dream of to start over, so make the most of it!
Give yourself permission to be the person you’ve always wanted to be. It’s likely you don’t know too many people in your new home, so no one has any preconceived notions of who you are. This is an amazing opportunity to grow personally. Don’t take this as free license to be someone you’re not – but rather a chance to fully shed your past negative patterns or pains and let yourself fully shine.
2 » Get. Out. Of. The. House.
As often as possible. Even if you’re by yourself. Go on hikes, take yourself out to lunch, window shop – whatever. You’ll find you like your new home better the more you get to know it. This is also a good way to meet new people and make friends.
3 » Say Yes.
Try, for a week or a month or whatever, saying yes to every invite you receive. For someone like me, this is the hardest thing – so much so that I didn’t even want to write it. Ugh – stupid tip.
I struggle to open up to people I don’t know very well, so making friends is a slow (and kinda awkward) process for me. But after moving to a new city you don’t really have the luxury of saying no to that slightly abrasive girl who just invited you to join her and her crew for a bonfire. It honestly doesn’t matter if you won’t be besties a year from now. You never know – maybe someone else at that bonfire is destined to be your future friend (or partner!).
It’s exactly like dating. You want a friend? You got to put yourself out there, go through a lot of frogs to find the prince(ss), and be proactive about finding that special someone online. It ~~kind of~~ sucks. But you can be anywhere in the world and still be totally miserable if you’re lonely, or anywhere and happy if you’re with the right people (and have the right attitude). Making friends is hard, especially as you get older, but I promise there are other new lonely transplants wandering the streets just like you. You just need to go find them.
The best part is, the more people you know, the more people you meet, so it really does get easier in time. When I first moved to San Diego I had exactly zero friends who lived there. One of the reasons it was so hard to leave was that by the end of my time there I had the largest group of close friends I’ve ever had in my life. (LOVE YOU GUYS)
4 » Maintain Your Support System.
Let’s all agree to not get overdramatic here, okay? You moved – you didn’t die.
Unless you really did go out in flames and just got chased out of your old town like an Old Western villain (to which I say, good sir/madam, you are a badass), you probably did move away from a few people who love you and who care about you.
It’s so easy now to stay in touch that it essentially takes exactly zero effort on your part to maintain your relationships. Being long distance is a lazy excuse for letting a relationship wither away. A relationship is like a plant – you’ve got to water and care for it, or it dies.
Listen – I’ve gone 9 months without my husband while he was on a boat somewhere across the world (and I wasn’t allowed to know where) during which time we had only one five minute phone call, on Christmas Day, with crappy reception. BUT our marriage stayed strong because we watered our relationship plant however we could. We sent emails whenever possible and lots of old-fashioned letters and packages that took months to travel to each other. We’ve lived apart a great deal of the time. We make it work.
And ideally you won’t face any kind of dire war-torn circumstances like that and you can, like, just comment on your friend’s Instagram photo and say hi.
I’m being extremely facetious because staying in touch these days is so easy it’s quickly neglected. We can talk any time we want with each other, so there’s no real drive to stay in touch. But as soon as you take the relationship for granted it starts to shrivel.
Even a quick “I love you!” text is sufficient – just water the damn plant.
5 » Check Your Attitude.
It’s allllll about your attitude. (Isn’t it always?) Your perspective is everything. If you tell yourself moving to a new city sucks, it sucks. Way, way easier said than done. I KNOW. I still spend many of my days here telling myself it sucks – but I’m working on catching myself as soon as I notice those negative thoughts, and try to focus instead on something I’m grateful for. It doesn’t magically make it not suck. That’s not the point. Changing your mindset is going to be a slow process, but with repeated effort you can actually retrain your brain to jump straight to those positive thoughts, letting the negative ones slowly die away.
Remember that no matter what the circumstances were that led to you moving to a new city, you can make this period of your life even better than before, no matter where you are. Focus on yourself. Give yourself lots of love, new experiences, and challenges to help you learn and grow.
You can be happy or miserable anywhere. It’s up to you to decide which one it’ll be.
Did you just move? I wanna hear about it! Let me know in the Comments, and share your own tips for moving to a new city!
xo,
Amy
There are affiliate links in this post, all for stuff I genuinely love and recommend!
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Mind
You’re Addicted to Your Phone
- September 5, 2017
- 2 Comments
- by Amy
It’s okay, though. I am too. It’s very much a #firstworldproblem, but your addiction to your phone is still a problem.
Whenever I have a free moment, I feel that familiar itchy urge to pick up my cell phone: when I’m walking to my car (yes, I frequently trip because of this), when I’m eating lunch, when my internet connection freaks out and I have to wait a minute (gasp) for a page on my laptop to load. You know what I’m talking about.
It’s not like I actually do anything when I pick up my phone. Sure, I usually have a few texts or emails that I could reply to, but 9 times out of 10 I’m just mindlessly opening up Instagram or Facebook and scrolling with no real intention.
Filling up the time with nothingness in a futile attempt to feel somethingness.
None of this is new or revelatory information, I know. At this point I think it’s safe to say that we all know that cell phones are a problem, our iPhones are ruining our lives, blah blah blah. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
Then why the hell can’t we leave our phones alone?
You can thank dopamine for your addiction.
When we turn to our phones to pass the time, it’s because we long for a dopamine hit. In case you don’t know, dopamine is a chemical created by your brain. You may have heard that dopamine makes you experience pleasure, but that’s not really the case. Dopamine actually fuels reward-seeking behavior. Dopamine makes you WANT.
Thanks to smart phones, we’ve gotten very used to instant gratification. Want to chat with your bff? She’s just a text away. Want to know the best lunch spot nearby? A quick Google search will give you tons of options in seconds. (Incidentally, I recently realized that Google broken down is Go Ogle. Intensely creepy if you think about it.)
Want to listen to “Look What You Made Me Do” on repeat while you drive to work (just me?)? Your wish is your phone’s command. Our brain LOVES THIS. You have a want, and you get what you want right away.
The problem is, our brain still functions the way it did when we were six and HAD TO HAVE the latest cool toy. It’s never satisfied. As soon as you get the doll for Christmas, you’re already drooling over the latest accessory set to go with it.
The feeling when you get what you want is so powerful that your brain keeps pumping out dopamine, which drives us to keep seeking that same high. This is why dopamine is a key ingredient in cooking up addiction. It always needs more.
» Leggings: Alo Yoga «
So yes, your cell phone addiction is REAL.
So much research has been done on our addictions to our phones and the hazards therein, but we don’t exactly change our ways even when we know better. We all know we’re just wasting time, but still we can’t pull ourselves away. Being on our phones quickly becomes a mindless habit.
The problem is that cell phone addiction is really bad for your health.
This review from the U.S. National Institutes of Health’s National Library of Medicine notes that our relationship with our phones is different from our computers, likely due to the fact that they’re often near us at all times and grant us access to the internet whenever and wherever we want it. Young women are the most likely to suffer from phone addiction.
But the most interesting – and terrifying – part of cell phone addiction is all the negative side effects. The review states:
“The problematic use of cell phones has been associated with personality variables, such as extraversion, neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, self-identity, and self-image. Similarly, sleep disturbance, anxiety, stress, and, to a lesser extent, depression, which are also associated with Internet abuse, have been associated with problematic cell-phone use. In addition, the present review reveals the coexistence relationship between problematic cell-phone use and substance use such as tobacco and alcohol.”
YIKES.
Now that we’re all agreed that your cell phone is wasting your time and also making you really freaking unhappy, what should you do about it?
Step one: download my free guide on How to Detox From Social Media
You can find it here! Be sure to check out my other FREE downloads, too.
It goes into detail on how to guide you to take a break from social media! That’s one of the main things that keeps us glued to our phones.
Let’s take it a step further and apply the detox to your entire phone. Practice spending an hour here, 30 min there, with your phone fully away from you. (It helps to put it in another room or leave it at home if you’re feeling extra committed!)
In short, you and your phone need to go on a break.
Right now you and your phone have an unhealthy relationship and it’s making the rest of us uncomfortable. You’re ALWAYS together, you ignore everyone else while you stare into each other’s eyes. You say your phone really loves you, but it’s actually holding you back from a lot of opportunities. Also it’s SO high maintenance and is always breaking and needing to be recharged.
But seriously, lately I’m really feeling just DONE with my phone. Most days I keep it on silent the entire day and I choose to schedule time in my calendar for when I really do need to be using it. I still am active on social media, but it’s controlled.
AND IT’S AMAZING.
I feel so free. So focused. I get more done when I’m not distracted by the constant lighting up of my phone’s screen (shocking).
Obviously, limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone takes practice, dedication, and possibly a good friend to hold you accountable. I’m not going to lie, whenever I hit writer’s block and start pacing around my room my first impulse is always to make my brain happier by picking up my phone.
But I find that as I become more mindful about my little addiction, it’s less satisfying. I will stare at the apps for a second and realize there’s actually nothing that they can provide me in those moments of boredom or emotional instability. It’s getting a lot easier to put the phone right back down again and stay present.
Because that’s really what it’s all about – actually LIVING your life instead of spending it buried inside technology.
Sure, I still love to waste the occasional hour watching dance videos (seriously, it’s my personal worst time-sucking rabbit hole), but I now do it intentionally, because I just really love watching dance videos.
And I’m sure it’s sometimes annoying that I don’t immediately reply to someone when they try to contact me, but the people around you eventually adjust, and you get to stay in charge of how you spend your energy. Since moving to a new city I’m currently making an effort to pre-schedule calls with my friends, and I feel way closer to them than when we were exchanging a text or two a day.
Take that, dopamine.
Are you addicted to your phone? Do you have any tips for ways to put the damn thing down? Share it with me in the comments!
xo,
Amy
There are affiliate links in this post, all for stuff I genuinely love and recommend!
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