Say goodbye to insomnia—you CAN get better sleep. And you can do it naturally.
I take my sleep very seriously. I’ve always been a restless, light sleeper, and there have been many periods in my life where it felt like no matter what I did, I just could. not. sleep. So if you’re suffering from insomnia or not sleeping as deeply as you know you could, you’ve come to the right place.
I’ve been there, and I know it can make you crazy. I’m writing this during the Coronavirus pandemic, and stress is destroying sleep around the globe. But I have good news: you CAN get better sleep. I’ve found real, natural wellness tools that WORK, which I’m going to share with you here. Now I sleep deeply, with very little interruption, straight through the night (with one bathroom break), which is something I once thought was impossible.
There was a few years in my 20s where I really only slept by way of medication, with Ambien or one of my anti-anxiety medications, Ativan or Klonopin. Not to knock medication—I believe there’s a time and a place for it, always, especially when it’s a critical situation. Sometimes we need that boost. But I think we can all agree it’s ideal for us to sleep deeply naturally, without the drugs.
All those medications had a strong affect on me and terrible side effects. I remember feeling a bad, cotton-y taste in my mouth after taking them, and I was always groggy and foggy-headed. I then turned to tons of caffeine to pull me out of the fog, which led to me getting overly anxious and not able to relax and fall asleep at night. So it created a horrible vicious cycle, and I felt sick, still lacking real natural sleep.
Step One: Release the fear of not getting a good night’s sleep.
When you’re not sleeping well, you don’t feel well. And this stress can worsen the problem. Tell me if you’ve been here before: lying in bed, stressed about not getting enough sleep, which causes you to (wait for it) not be able to sleep, which makes you more stressed as you start to count down how many hours of sleep you’d get if you fell asleep now… and on and on through the night. It’s actual hell.
You WILL sleep well again.
Repeat that after me.
You WILL sleep well again.
Your natural state is alignment, and your body wants to rest. So does your mind. Start to surrender to what is.
When you feel that fear creeping back up, the only thing you can do is soften into acceptance. The real suffering with sleeplessness comes from the agony we create in our own minds about the whole experience by constantly obsessing over it. If you feel exhausted—let it be. If you feel like you don’t know how you’ll get through another day—let it be. The fear is just amplifying the experience. Choose to let it go.
The number one cure is to RELAX.
Now, all that I’ve written so far is easier said than done—I know. It’s hard to accept a situation that, frankly, sucks.
But we can use our mind-body connection to make the whole process easier. When you relax your body, your mind starts to relax—and vice-versa. When you feel fear, use it as a sign that you need to take action to release that tension and return to peace.
I’m sure you have endless responsibilities and a crammed calendar and to-do list. It probably feels like the last thing you can do is carve out time to “do nothing.” But, I’m telling you, this is fundamental.
We live in an over-stressed, amped-cortisol world. We’re ON for so much of the day that we need to take steps towards the end of the day to shift gear back into a state of rest, so we can sleep better naturally.
Unwind for at least an hour before bedtime.
The last hour of your day is KEY. You don’t expect a pot of stew to boil immediately after you turn your stove on, right? We can’t expect our bodies to immediately fall asleep when ten minutes ago you were answering work emails, having a tense discussion with your S.O., or watching a movie.
Your brain is not a lightswitch. We need time to relax and release the stress of the day. What you choose to do is up to you: but remember to differentiate what you think relaxes you from what actually relaxes you. Stretching=relaxing. True crime docs on Netflix=not relaxing. Real relaxation comes when we are intentional about tuning inwards and focusing on our energetic states. It’s not numbing, or zoning out.
Here are my suggestions for how to relax at the end of the day:
- Meditate. If I could, I would make this mandatory for everyone. I’m a meditation teacher for a reason—it’s changed my life. And it’s not as intimidating as you may have heard. Read this intro all about how to meditate.
- Stretch. Try an online yin yoga class or just take a few minutes to stretch on your own: I’ve got a bunch of how-to stretch guides here on the blog.
- Lay on an acupressure mat. This thing is pure magic. Lying on it for just 20 minutes shifts my whole body into a calm state. While you rest on it, meditate or listen to a calm podcast or audiobook!
- Take an epsom salt bath. A regular bath is nice, but an epsom salt bath is CLUTCH. Epsom salts contain magnesium, which I’ll mention again below as is great for helping your body release tension and soreness. All you need is 2 cups and 20 minutes to soak. I like to add lavender and eucalyptus essential oils to mine.
- Read a book. But remember—one that zens you out, not one that quickens your heart rate! This cute rechargeable book light is perfect for keeping the lights low.
- Write in a gratitude journal.
- Try to avoid bright lights and screens during this time, including your phone. The light from electronics disrupts our bodies’ circadian rhythm, a natural process which regulates the body’s sleep-wake systems. It’s triggered by the light of the sun, telling your body when it’s day and night, and adjusting your energy levels appropriately. If you do look at a screen, wear blue light blocking glasses, which filter out those high-energy light wavelengths. I have these cute ones from Felix Gray that are super cute, lightweight, and effective. I use them all day long.
Use blackout curtains, or the BEST eye mask for sleeping.
Like I was saying, light is important—and we don’t want any of it while you sleep. The darker your bedroom, the better. I go so far as to throw towels or blankets over the electronic lights in my studio apartment, because I don’t want to be confronted by all the bright yellow green lights when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.
Blackout curtains are your best friend. However, right now my studio apartment has a lovely wall-length balcony blind situation where I can’t have curtains, but the blinds let a lot of light in. So I use this, which is the best eye mask for sleeping. Did I mention it’s only $7? And it’s perfect for travel.
It’s not your average eye mask.
Most eye masks rest against your eyelids, which is not good. Your eyes move around during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, and with the pressure that movement becomes limited, disrupting your sleep. Also, the eyelid wrinkles! I love this eye mask for sleeping because it’s sculpted up away from your eyes. They kind of like bug eyes tbh, but just remember there’s nothing sexier than being well-rested.
Have a warm drink before bed—and add magnesium.
When we sleep, our bodies’ core temperatures decrease, and our circadian rhythm causes our core temperature to rise again in the morning, waking us. When you help your body make this shift to a cooler temperature, you can help encourage along the biological processes of sleep. It’s like giving the body a little nudge in the right direction.
The best way to do this is, as I said above, to take an epsom salt bath. I live for my epsom salt baths. They’re everything. And, of course, make sure to keep your bedroom cool—I aim for 68 degrees as my ideal, but if you can go colder, more power to you.
BUT if you don’t have access to a hot tub or the time for a whole soak, you can still help coax your body along into sleep. Just drink something warm—this will raise your body’s core temperature slightly, so that it will have to cool off to return to normal. Cooling off cues sleep. See what we did there?
The two best drinks for sleep:
- Nighty Night tea. This tea from Traditional Medicinals is an organic blend of calming herbs like chamomile and linden flower. They also have a Nighty Night Extra version with Valerian Root if you need a stronger punch—I haven’t tried it yet, but I love all this company’s teas!
- Golden milk! This delicious drink is a blend of potent anti-inflammatory turmeric and other herbs, and is best mixed with your choice of gently warmed plant milk (I love oat milk). I love this organic golden milk from Gaia, which contains Ashwagandha, a stress-relieving adaptogen.
Lastly, add magnesium to your drink! I love this unflavored magnesium from Calm (bonus: it also has calcium). It doesn’t taste like anything, unless you want a flavored version, in which case you could mix it with warm water. Magnesium deficiency is common in adults, and it’s vital we get enough. Magnesium helps us maintain healthy levels of GABA, a neurotransmitter that promotes deep sleep.
Take some CBD, or cannabis.
I wrote an entire post about CBD, including how it work and my top recommendations. So, definitely go check it out! It’s the ultimate natural super-relaxer.
Now, if it’s legal where you live, you could also take it one step further and use cannabis to help you sleep. Cannabis is legal in CA, and I’m a big fan, for many reasons. I’ll write a post on this soon! But in the meantime, if you’re newer to the world of kush, know that you need Indica strains. There are two, Sativa (which is energizing), and Indica (which is relaxing). So you have to be selective about what you choose to smoke or injest. My favorite edibles are Kiva Dark Chocolate and Kaneh Chocolate Paleo Bites. They’re both legit delicious and pack a strong, relaxing punch that will soothe even the most stressful of days.
Sensitive to noise? Use these super-comfortable earplugs.
I have been using these Sleep Pretty in Pink earplugs since 2006, when I went to college. New to having a roommate, I found it challenging to not have my personal space, especially since I’m an empath. I had to find a way to block out the noise of my roommate working or moving around while I slept, and I can tell you honestly that I put in WORK to find the perfect earplugs—and these are them. I am very proud of this discovery.
That’s because of two major factors: they are by far the most comfortable AND they also block out top levels of noise, at 32 DB. I’m sorry, or maybe you’re welcome, but they are bright pink. Let’s ignore the issue of how it’s a wee bit demeaning to be marketed to in this overtly feminine way, and the name is just a groan. But I’m telling ya—they’re the best.
I do sometimes get sad at the environmental impact of earplugs though—as soon as there’s a more natural fix, I’ll tell you.
You should turn on some form of white noise.
I have had the same white noise machine for over a decade, and they don’t make it anymore. I like just the classic mechanic white noise *whoosh* sound. But if I were to buy a new one today, this white noise machine from Marpac is the one I would get. It’s super similar to my model and comes highly recommended.
When I’m traveling, I use the app Sleep Pillow for the iPhone. It’s FREE and has a great selection of sounds, with a premium option if you’re real specific about your sounds. I’m a fan of the upper left rain/water one in the free version. It’s perfect to drown out activity around you.
Another solid go-to fix is to turn on a fan or your air conditioner. The more white noise, the better I sleep.
You can also try listening to deep sleep music.
Some people aren’t a fan of white noise and need something a little more deliberately relaxing. Thankfully, tons of music is out there specifically designed to lead you into a deep sleep.
This is a Spotify playlist I made of my favorite relaxing deep sleep sounds to help coax me to sleep. The first song is a long, 30 min OM chant that I find really relaxing, and the rest are non-vocal, soft instrumental songs that promote deeper sleep. I hope you find it as soothing as I do!
» Song Vibes «
If you struggle to sleep at any point in the night, stay relaxed.
If you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep, remember to accept the situation rather than get anxious. I would encourage you to stay resting, even if you feel totally alert. Sometimes I find it helpful to move from the bed to the couch—a new sleeping arrangement for a fresh start, so to speak. (Avoid turning on any lights.)
Even if you aren’t sleeping, resting is still very restorative for the body and will help you feel best the next day. Think of it as a mid-sleep meditation break.
Most importantly, practice deep breathing while you rest. Breathe in and out through your nose all the way to the lowest part of your belly, letting your entire body relax. Enjoy this time to turn off from the world and just rest.
Wishing you all a great night’s sleep tonight!
Do you know any other natural ways to sleep better? Share with me in the Comments below!
xo,
Amy
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